The Girl in the Snow [KNY X BNHA READER CRACKFIC]

Chapter 32: Fishy Fish Fish Filet

"Hyo! You noticed me, huh?" A voice echoes through the vase. "I guess that means you're a Hashira."

The full body of the voice emerges. "Is something important in that abandoned shed? I wonder what all that rustling in there is about. Hyo!"

"eUGH- THE CHET IS THAT?"

Gremlin stance. Sword out and all, my face contorts into an expression of disgust as I lay my eyes upon.. whatever the fuck that is.

Mouths for the eyes and an eye for the mouth. Eugh- is that another eye on the forehead? Some fin looking things on his head as hair.. honestly, looks like every balding man with the few pieces of hair swooped to the side, except that it's vertically placed upon the head.

The.. I don't even know what that is waved like two of its many hands. "Hyo hyo! Nice to meet you. They call me Gyokko. Mind if I talk to you two a little before I kill you?"

"Heheheehehe no. Fakku Offu.. kudasai biotch" I laughed, triple flipping off the fish man. Which the fishy fish man gave me a stink eye before continuing his conversation with the Mist Man next to me. "I'd like to show the four of you my creations tonight!"

"Creations..?" Mui repeated, tilting his head to the side. "What are you talking about?"

Gyokko claps all eight pairs of his hands in a row, whipping out a vase from his ass like an Asian mom with a slipper. "Here's the first one.." black liquid start splurging out (ayo) of the vase before revealing the mutilated and contorted corpses of five swor- oh shit. Tanaka Dat you? Damn I thought you played volleyball.

"I call this Death Throes of the Smiths!" The fish dude starts talking like the auction dude, "Look first at the hands! Dirty hands with thick calluses like swordsmiths get! I out them in front on purpose!"

Kanamori and the kid (I forgot his name) almost retches in pure fucking horror of whatever the fuck that is, reciting the names of the recognized swordsmiths, "Lord Kongouji.. Tetsuo.. Kanaike.. Kotaro.. Tetsuhiro..."

Gyokko acting like a Toga kinnie's face lights up, "Right! You get it! I've made lavish and detailed use of five swordsmiths! But I had no idea you'd be so moved!"
"And running them through with swords brings out a certain smithiness!" I squint my eyes, putting my hands on my knees as I bend down like that one meme. "The fuck is 'SmIthInEsS?'"

Gyokko continues without a care, "I left the hyottoko masks on to convey emotionlessness and absurdity! And to top it all off.." He reaches his main arms up to grab the handle of a sword, "if I twist the katana like this.. it goes 'Gyahh!!'"

Okay, I may be messed up but that's a whole 'nother level.

Gyokko twists the sword, earning the screams of the five barely alive swordsmiths. I don't know why, but I actually nodded my head as a joke. "Hm.. interactive I see.." Gyokko's eye.. mouth.. what the hell- mouths smile widely at my comment, surprisingly coming from a demon slayer.

Kanamori and the child are even more abolutely fucking terrified, hugging eachother while screaming whatever the hell, I ain't paying attention to be honest.

"Hey. Cut it out, you bastard."

"HyO-" Upperfuck 5 was cut off by my sweet child, Mui headlong rushing towards Gyokko tryna cut the mofoka's head off.

He missed. GAYokko dissapeared into his pot of droogs to reappear onto the rooftop of a house. "Let me finish!" The deheemon began, "I have to tell you more about my creations! My preference is that vase's-"

"This dumb bitch can travel between pots, huh," I muttered loud enough for my sweet boi Mui can hear. (I love that kid platonically, he is adorable and I love him so.) "Ahhh Ssi-bal" (Ahh fuck) I mutter, done with this uppermoon's blabbing. I pull a bow and nichirin arrow out of my ass and shoot the vase, effectively breaking it.. like my ex..

"HOW DARE YOU DESTROY MY VASE?! THAT WAS A WORK OF ART! YOU UNCULTURED MONKEY!" The narcissistic artist reappears in another vase planted in the dirt. 'Yo where the fu- oh. There he is." I turn around to find the fish emerging from another vase. "A muscle-head like you couldn't possibly appreciate my work! But that's all right too!" The demon continues to babble on.

"If he's running this much.." Muichiro starts

"Then he'll actually die if we cut his head off." I finish

*vnnn* (idk, I'm using the manga as reference) and what the fuk there's another vase in his hand.
"Goldfish?"
"The fuck?"

Two giant goldfish start swimming out if the vase. It's faces bulge as if it were inhaling a shit ton of air.

"OH DUCK-" Literally, like- duck. There's now a shit ton of needles being shot at us full speed. I look back to the roof we are no longer on and hollly shISET HELL NAH-

THE FU- WHY TF ARE THESE GOLDFISH THINGS SHOOTING NEEDLE THINGS AT US. MAN, IM BARELY DODGING. I'M LOOKING OVER AT MUI AND GODDAMN HE LOOKS COOL AF

I look to my left to see Kanamori attempting to shield the kid (I forgot the name) "Young Kotetsu!" Dodging the incoming spike thingies. (I still don't know the name) I run infront of Muichiro when oHHHH FUCK- I LOOK LIKE SWISS CHEESE-

Sooooooo basically the entire left side of both Muichiro and my bodies are just absolutely imPALED by those needle things.

Oh shit, through the ear. OhHH THAT MAKES ME VERYYY UNCOMFORTABLE!

"AHHH! LORD TOKITO! LORD TOGATA!" The two swordsmiths scream in absolute fucking horror seeing us get impaled by who knows what. MUI BBY DELIVERS A SICK ASS, "You're in the way. Go hide." While my dumbass just fucking-

"In the name of the Father, the Son, and Daddy Ryan Reynolds.. Fuck this shit."

Lenny faced and all

A comical silence is heard throughout the battlefield before Gyokko speaks up in a Mickey Mouse voice, "What the FUCK?!"

--

"Hyo hyo hyo! Look at you two! Covered in needles! What a laughable sight!" The tuna man starts, "So.. has the poison begin paralyzing your limbs? It really is humorous. You save a worthless life and lose yours in a worthless place."

Muichiro just stands there like a deer in the headlights. Idk, maybe getting those memories back, I dunno. He was shortly cut off by a bitch, "Hyo hyo! But even so, you're both still hashiras. What piece of art shall I create of you two? The possibilities are endless!"

The mist hashira cut out of his flashback and decides to go and slash him without warning. "Shut up. You're boring me."

ANOTHER FUCKING POT APPEARS. HOW MUCH DRU GS ARE THERE?

Blood Demon Art: Water Prison Pot

Muichiro and I were put inside of a pot thing made of water. I don't know, I couldn't breathe, so naturally I'm panicking like a little bitch. While we couldn't speak cuz ahah- limited oxygen, the gay artist continues his rant. I don't know, something about the pots being indestructible and suffocation. I was too lazy to listen to that annoying ass voice

--
In a distant area..

A beautiful young woman is seen running through the forest, "I have to hurry! Everyone in the village is in danger! But the area I'm in charge of and the village of swordsmiths are so close! What a surprise! All right! I can do this!"

A/N: Yo due to laziness, I ain't gonna really cover uppermoon four's battle mainly cuz I'm a dumbass and my monke brain apparently can't comprehend whatever the fuck happened.