I couldn't go further. Every inch of my body was begging me to stop.
I had been running. From my family, I just wanted a break.
My heart had brought me to my favourite place. Holland Park. I had grown up here as a little child.
The happy memories of my childhood had soothed the pain a bit.
My parents were getting a divorce.
I sat down in my secret corner. It was childish I knew, being 15 years of age and having a secret corner. It was the only place I could truly be myself.
I drew my knees in to my chest and rocked back and forth. I worried a bit about my parents not knowing where I was, but then I remembered that they didn't need to know where I was and I forgot it.
Then I felt it. At first I thought it was just a false alarm, a one off. But now, I had proved myself wrong. The vicious pains in my stomach were pounding so hard I thought I would pass out. I took out my phone and googled 'signs of anxiety' And there it was, 'pains in the upper stomach, sweaty palms and hoarse throat.' my heart was now pounding as well. I sat and cried. It was the only thing I knew how to do at this moment in time. My body was numb with fear and pain. To be honest, I wasn't 100% sure what I was scared of, I just had that feeling, gripping my muscles and shutting them up like clams.
My phone vibrated. Emily. My best friend, "hey, mum called me and told me what happened, call me back when you wanna talk." 'Mum' was actually my mum, but since my mum and Emily got along so well, she was considered part of the family. As much as I loved her, I wasn't going to be texting her back any time soon. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about it. The word itself made me shiver. What a harsh word. It. I didn't like it.
By now my mind was whirring with thoughts, bad ones. So I just pushed them out of my head. I plugged my headphones into my iPhone 5 but my palms were so sweaty I couldn't do it. I wiped them on my ripped jeans. No such luck. I glanced down and my palms glistened in the little light there was in my secret corner.
Since my headphones refused to plug in, I decided to close my eyes and listen to the happy squeals of the children playing in holland park.
