SOMETIMES

THE PRINCIPLE OF THINGS

Confrontations have always been approached with a single dimension point of view. Often times, objectivity fails and people fall into what's easier, manageable, and preferable. They gravitate towards that. They choose that, because it's easier. 

People often times find themselves in confrontational situations because they need to make sense of how different scenarios and situations made them feel:

"How could you,"
"You broke my heart when you did this,"
"You broke my trust,"

These are the typical responses of one grappling with the complexities of their emotions in confrontations.

Then we have people that communicate what they aren't willing to compromise on, which too, leads to a confrontation of sorts:

"My deal-breaker is cheating."
"My deal-breaker is lying."
"My deal-breaker is manipulation and excessive control."

People use these as a compass to navigate the intricacies of their multiple relationships. However, it is important to remember that the biological and neurological build-up of human beings is much more complex than the calibrations of their emotional readings. Responding heatedly to the woes of life just because of what was done is not substantial enough. It has to revert back to principle. It has to revert to the why's. 

How one could decide to consciously behave in a certain manner, make a decision, or say a word that would implicate that of the next person in a grotesque and inconsiderate manner. 

It also matters who has done the act of betrayal and hurt. Is it personal? 

The dynamic of the interaction and relationship matters too.

Principle matters, and the lack thereof leads to conversations like this:

It is not only because you cheated, but also because you cheated on me - someone you claim to have loved. It is because you decided to cheat on someone you married and started a family with; someone you vowed to stay true to and loyal to. It is not only because you cheated, but also because your cheating translated to me the shallowness of the principles and values you inhibit, the love you claim to have, and the future you airily proclaim to build towards. It is not only because you cheated, but also because you chose to disrespect and humiliate me and the sacred union we'd been blessed with. It is not only because you cheated, but also because you decided to engage and participate in an act that would sabotage and break years' worth of friendship, trust, and love. It is not only because you cheated, but also because you singled me out for not being good enough by doing with someone else what you should have been doing with me. It is because of principle, how flawed yours were, and how incompatible yours were to mine. 

It is not only because you lied, but also because you did not find me trustworthy enough to share with me your honesty. It is not only because you lied, but also because you shared with me someone else, someone that I did not know, it is because you introduced to me a stranger instead of a friend. It is not only because you lied, but also because you branded what we shared as not worthy of transparency and vulnerability. It is not only because you lied, but also because while I was sharing with you all of me, you decided to give me nothing. It is not only because you lied, but also because while I was opening myself up like a sunflower in summer, you presented yourself to me as a box. It is not only because you lied, but also because you showed me what I'd known as friendship through the years was a blip in yours.

It is not only because you called me ugly, but also because you chose to call me by a different name instead of my own. It is not only because you called me ugly, but also because you chose to see me as the exterior of my skin and the marks of the journey of life it bore instead of who I really was. It is not only because you called me ugly, but also because you reduced my entire identity to one word. It is not only because you called me ugly, but also because you chose to box my entire being into one derogatory word instead of the beautiful story I knew I was that you never bothered to read.

It is not because of what you did, but the intent and principle behind what you did and spoke. It is because of Principle - The Principle of Things.