SOMETIMES

It's Fine...

"Hey, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what I said the other day, I was angry and I didn't mean it."

It's Fine...

When in actual fact: I already hate how I look, now having someone I care about harshly point it out made me hate myself even more. I don't want to go out, I don't want to meet anyone, I don't want to live. I am a burden and a pain to look at, I should save everyone the trouble and disappear. I mean you said it yourself, I am bothersome and hard to love..but instead of saying all this to you and burdening you even more, I'll settle with this: It's fine...

"Hey, sorry we hung out without you. It was unplanned and half of our phones were dead. How was your weekend?"

It's Fine...

When in actual fact: I already know that I am the filler-friend and the 'designated fat friend' and not the most fun, the most cool or the most relatable. Don't lie to me, don't disrespect my integrity. I know how everything went. I was at the mall you went to with my parents running errands, I heard you say it wasn't necessary to call me and invite me over. Don't lie to me. I could tell you all this, but instead, I settle with: It's Fine...

"Hey babe, sorry I missed your call, when I got home I passed out. My phone battery was out too. How has your week been? come over?

It's Fine...

When in actual fact: You were at the bar last night, I know this because it is the same bar my brother and uncle frequent, so I know you were there. Not only do I know you were there, I know you went home with the girl you kept telling me not to worry about. You are lying through your teeth. You are cheating on me and making a fool out of me, but for now, let's settle with, It's Fine...

"I already know what you like and what you would order, so I ordered for the both of us."

It's Fine...

When in actual fact: You have been doing this a lot lately. Making decisions for me, speaking on my behalf and participating in things that concern me without my knowledge or consent. It is annoying and I am getting tired of you patronizing me. Clearly all you'll ever see is the broken girl from years ago. Since you know me so well, I'll spare you what you already know and settle with this: It's Fine...

Really, It's Fine...