SOMETIMES

I Wish I Knew...

I wish I knew = I don't know but I would like to know

I wish I knew = If I had Known, our interactions would have been different

I wish I knew = I would've behaved and carried myself differently, had I known

I wish I knew = Had I known, I wouldn't have said what I said.

How often do we say these words? How often do we wish we knew certain things, certain truths, about people, about the world, about ourselves? Why does 'knowing' directly influence, affect, and control what we say and how we carry ourselves?

Had I known she was grieving, I would have been kinder...

Had I known he was hungry, I would have shared my food with him...

Had I known she was depressed, I would have been more thoughtful...

Had I known how lonely they were, I would have spent more time with them...

Had I known they were anxious, I would have held their hand...

Had I known how sick they were, I would have offered my jacket...

Had I known today was their last day on Earth, I would have given them a hug.

Why don't we do these things anyway? Why don't we become present, thoughtful, generous, loving, supportive people regardless of what we know? Why do we set harsh parameters on the boundless nature of human interaction? Why do we become sterile and technical, even in moments where it's not necessary? Granted, some situations require a level of transparency of the needs of one and the capacity to tend to said needs of the other... but still...why do you wish you knew? why didn't you try to find out, learn, the other person, situation? 

Are you sure that 'finding out' and 'knowing' will be good for you? Is knowing necessary? Will it significantly change who you are as a person and how you interact with each person? Will it change completely the situation of the next person? How does 'knowing' really help? 

I hope I never get to say this often; 'I Wish I Knew'....