Chosen by fungus 🍃 | a shrek x fem!reader story

Chapter seven

⚠️TW: Shrek abuse⚠️

shrek had been only pretending to sleep, y/n, despite being gorgeous. and the most lovely girl he'd ever met- in fact she just wasn't like other girls - she snored TERRIBLY.

Shrek could still hear her even through his moss earplugs She was so terribly loud. Even if he wanted to he wouldn't be able to sleep through that.

He hadn't gotten any sleep whatsoever, but he figured pretending to sleep was the way to go, hey it might be boring enough to make him drop off.

instead of sleeping he pretended to snore while gazing at her face,

he sighed to himself, Grazing her soft head with the back of his crusty musty ass hand "I'm such a stalker, but she has nice bone structure."

puss burst into the room, "SO NICE ITS GIVING MY BONE STRUCTURE" he yelled with a wide grin on his face.

shrek shook his head and sat up wearily, Dandruff falling of his ashy bald head.

he picked his nose and ate the boogers quickly, speaking through his snot he said

"AY WOULD YOU LEAVE YOU LITTLE SHIT? IM TRYING TO SLEEP"

puss looked at him in disgust, his belt jingling a little

"senor what is with your unhygenic habits"

he shook his head at Shrek in disappointment.

As Puss turned to leave, shaking his head in doubt y/n could ever love such an ogre, y/n choked on her saliva, sounding like an old grandma. She sounded like a dying horse it was horrible.

Shrek tried shaking her awake in fear she was dying as Puss rushed to her side.

puss shook his head, "clearly all we can do is chloroform her. its a lost case"

She lay there, her eyes open widely as she coughed incredibly loudly. Puss pressed the hankerchief to her mouth.

Then she stopped, As if her heart failed.
And then she startled them when she went back to snoring

Puss gave a concerned look and gently closed her eyes with his soft paw

Shrek tried to push her off her back but accidentally pushed her into the floor, he shrugged and left the room to go get chips. lays in fact. He ate like a white ass person who doesn't put seasoning on their food.

Y/n lay there face first.

Puss lay down next to her, Watching y/n laying on the floor because hes her ride or die.

Donkey bursts into the room, His eyes sleepy, A drowsy look on his face.

"daddy- uh i mean- MY FRIEND, PUSS, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? You weren't there when I threw my hoof across your side of the bed to pull you in"

Puss raised one eyebrow at him, "Daddy?"

"is there something about our relationship you aren't telling me mi amor?"

Donkey blushed Realising he said that out loud, he faints from the pet name

Puss shakes his head again "two fainting damsels clearly Im a hit today"

Puss stood up, Walked over and picked up donkey, Bid his goodbyes to shrek and the sleeping lady, And dragged donkey out back to their room. Slamming the door behind him.

shrek was still in the hotel kitchen, spraying chip crumbs everywhere.

He turned off the cameras he was watching y/n and puss on, Leaving chip dust on the keys.