forbidden fruit~sodapop curtis

lie

finley's pov

"I knew you'd come around,"

"I didn't want to, but now gran is stuck on the couch barely function-able because she saw you," I said. "so get on with it,"

"finley please understand that what I'm about to tell you, I did it all for you and jackson," she said. "yeah, right, go on," I said. "I know it's hard to believe anything I say but I have no reason to lie to you, the day in the hospital when you thought I died, I really was sick, I did have cancer, just not to the extent you all believed I did," she started.

"your father had found out that I was a drug addict a few years before I was diagnosed with cancer, he tried to get me help but I refused, which is the reason he started to argue with me a lot, he didn't want me around you or jackson," she said.

"he doesn't care about me," I said. "that's what you think my beautiful girl," she said. "one day I overdosed, your father found me and took me to the emergency room, that's how they found out I had cancer," she explained. "they had to keep me there to manage my meds, get me the help I needed, to start chemo, that's why they never let me come home, because they didn't think it was a good idea to let your father manage my meds since I could easily access them that way,"

"what does this have to do with you faking your death?" I asked. "I'm getting there I promise, at some point my cancer got bad enough that the chemo wasn't working, they didn't think an operation would work so I wanted to say my goodbyes and not put you and jackson through watching me die after giving you the hope that I wouldn't," she said. "so I set it up with the doctors and figured it out, when I ended up surviving, and they successfully got rid of the cancer for now, I didn't want to go back, I moved and started a new life," she said.

"so why are you back now?" I asked. "why does dad hate me?" I stood up. "he doesn't hate you bear," she said. "no, don't call me that, you abandoned us when we could've had a mum the past 5 years! I needed you mum! dad has abused me ever since you fucking died and you think he doesn't hate me?!"

"finley please-," "no, you don't get to beg me for anything, I grieved you, I still was grieving you, when the WHOLE TIME you were never really gone," I said. "I never want to see you again," I said and ran as fast as I could away from her. I didn't know where I was running too but I needed to get as far away from her as soon as possible. I ended up at the river sodapop showed me.

I felt the panic attack crawling up my shoulders. like it was waiting for days to finally make it out. crush me. steal the air from my lungs.

I grabbed at my chest and tried to breathe. my eyes stung as the tears swarmed the bridge of them. "100, 97, 93 , 90," I tried any technique to calm myself down and nothing worked. I wanted to scream, hit something, hurt someone. I couldn't control my own body.

I felt a warm hand grab my shoulder and that's when I finally froze. my breathing still rapid, the tears still falling, yet my body stopped shaking.

"look at me doll," his voice was calm and collected. I knew he was trying not to trigger anything. he put his hand under my chin and turned my face towards him. "what happened?" he asked. after a minute of trying to find the words I finally uttered out three, quiet, simple words. "she left us," I whispered.

"come here," he said and wrapped me up in his arms. "jump, I'm gonna take you home," he whispered. I did as he said without complaint as my breathing finally returned to normal and the tears slowed.

eventually I woke up in my bed, firm arms wrapped around me. I rolled over and soda was wide awake, staring at the ceiling. "hi," I said. he looked down and smiled.

"hi beautiful," he said. "you okay?" he asked. I shrugged. "that was a stupid question I'm sorry," he said. I shook my head. "no it wasn't," I said. he smiled slightly and kissed my head. "you want anything to eat? your gran slept it off and doesn't suspect a thing, ordered some pizza for us," he said. "yes please," I said. he was back within two minutes, I ate the pizza quickly, realizing how hungry I was once I smelled it.

"do you wanna talk about it?" he asked after I set the paper plate in the garbage. "not really," I said. "I'll tell you what happened just, maybe later?"

"of course, you don't need to tell me anything," he said and kissed my cheek. "thank you for always helping me soda," I said. "hey, what are boyfriends for?" he said. boyfriend. the word always made me smile when it came from him.

I kissed him and nuzzled my head into his shoulder. "get some sleep doll," he whispered and I drifted off quickly, comforted by the warmth of his arms wrapped around me.