Anything But Ordinary ☯ Josh Hutcherson [unedited]

Chapter 22

Liz's POV

Josh left me in front of Nick's door after saying goodnight and placing a kiss on my forehead.

After he was gone I took a deep calming breath (since I was really nervous for some reason) and then I brushed my knuckles against the wooden door in a soft knock.

I couldn't hear anything and my heart sank as I realized that maybe he had gone to sleep. 

I didn't even bother knocking again, I decided I would come back in the morning so I started walking away.

Then I heard a door open.

"Giving up so quickly? I can see how much you care" at his hurt tone another wave of guilt hit me but I forced myself to walk back to him.

"I thought you were sleeping, I didn't want to disturb you. I was coming back in the morning" I explained, but my voice was really soft because I didn't want to upset him any further.

"Right" was all he said and then we both stood there awkwardly.

"Can I come in?" I looked at my feet as the question left my lips because I would hate to see the expression on his face when he told me to leave him alone.

Instead I saw the shadow of the door as he opened it wider and without a comment I walked inside and he closed the door behind us.

He sat at the edge of his bed and waited for me to do the same.

Once seated I couldn't find the words to let him know what I was feeling so I started with the most obvious one.

"I'm so sorry Nick" I said softly.

"Why are you sorry?" he questioned as he turned his face to look at me; his green eyes piercing my blue ones.

"Because I hurt you and I never meant to do that. I had no idea you had those feelings for me.... I guess I never paid enough attention" My voice was getting quieter by every word but I knew he had heard everything.

He sighed deeply and talked, "Liz, you don't have to apologize. It's not your fault I fell for you and that you fell for someone else" I had the urge to argue that I hadn't fallen, but that would be a lie and we both knew it. I'm still not used to the idea that I had fallen in love.

"But it is my fault that you feel like I don't care about you.

I'm not the best at expressing my feelings, and you know this. But I should have tried to make an effort at letting you know how much you mean to me... Nick, you are the only real friend I have. My best friend, and I love you okay? It may not seem like I do because of the way that I act but I do. I know sometimes I act like a jerk but you know how much other people, my dad and anyone else has hurt me in the past. It's hard letting go of the pain that they caused at some point, and it's hard trusting and showing people how you really feel about them. I should have made an exception with you and maybe it's a little too late but I'm telling you now.

I had a great time tonight.... before the little incident. I finally felt I didn't have to have my guard up with you because I knew you would never hurt me like everyone else has. I know now that I can trust you" at this point in my speech  my hands had found his and I was holding them really tight, hoping he would believe everything that I was saying.

"I just... I want you to know that you are important and that I need you in my life, that is, if you still want to be a part of it" he stayed silent after I finished and a bad feeling was starting to creep on me.

"Why would I decide to not be part of your life anymore?" he asked slowly.

"Because... you know. Josh. I don't know if you'll be okay seeing me with him and all..." I felt really uncomfortable so I let the statement hanging.