Assassin's Creed: Chronos (Ezio x OC)

16 - Fix You

January 1, 1477

Monteriggioni, Italy

Ezio's sobs had died down after a while, and then he was quiet. It hadn't taken long for her to realize he had fallen asleep-too exhausted mentally and physically to stay awake. Her own stability wavered, but she kept herself together as she got him underneath the covers and settled him into bed. She stayed only a few moments longer to gaze at him, taking in how serene he looked compared to just moments before. Yet even then, he stirred uneasily. The serenity was disturbed by slight twitches and furrows of his brow.

It made her chest tighten, and she could look at him no longer. Catherine spun on her heel and moved as quietly and quickly as she could out of his room, down the ladder, through to the main hall, down the stairs, and then out into the desiccated garden in the back. Despite its barren state, the area was large as it extended back to the wall. She was glad for it. She needed the space between the Villa. She couldn't be there right now, or be near the people there. She couldn't face them, and yet they pervaded her thoughts so deeply it made it seem as though they loomed over her regardless if she was by their side or at the wall. She ended up somewhere near the latter and sat on one of the few benches there. She pressed her hand to her mouth, inhaling deeply as she blinked her eyes quickly. Her body shook, though, and despite her efforts, she let out a sob.

The tears came soon enough and she pressed two clenched fists against her forehead as she sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. The tears rolled down her cheek endlessly as everything burst forth. There was no holding back, and the guilt washed over her. Giovanni, Federico, and Petruccio were dead. They were gone and never coming back. She would never get to see them again. She would never get to hear them again. She would never get to speak to them again. She would never spend time with them again. She would never get to tell Petruccio a story or draw him pictures or play swords with him or be his Lady and he her Knight again. She would never spar with Federico or go run with him or make jokes at his brother's expense or tease him for being so lazy again. She would never talk of the future or of Assassin things or whatever came to mind with Giovanni or make him proud of her again. She would never laugh with them, play with them, do anything with them again. They were gone. Dead.

And it was her fault.

Oh, she hadn't pulled the trigger. She hadn't tied the noose. She hadn't given the word. She hadn't sent the guards. She hadn't captured them or beat them. She hadn't killed them. Yet it was her fault. It was all her fault. She could have saved them. She should have saved them. She should have been able to. She should have been stronger. Hadn't the woman sent her here to help them!? Didn't she send her to help them? So why? Why were they dead? Why couldn't she save them? Why was she so weak and useless!?

"Dammit!" she shouted, standing up and pacing through the pathway, going back and forth to the bench. She didn't understand. She couldn't understand. Why were they gone? Why were they dead? Why couldn't she save them? Why couldn't she save Claudia and Maria from this? Why couldn't she keep Ezio from looking like he did? Why couldn't she stop seeing him break apart and become something so entirely different from before-like he was almost a new person. It wasn't right. It wasn't right! Yet-it was real. It was all real.

Choking on a sob, she reached into her pocket and pulled out the Clock. She glared at it through her tears, loathing it more than ever. She cursed it, damned it; hoped it would rot in hell if it could go to such a place. She wanted to demand why it had failed her-why it had not told her sooner; why it hadn't help her convince Mario; why hadn't it given her some way to save them? If it could go back in time, why couldn't it take her now? Why wouldn't it work?