stalker . woosan

02

i forgot what day it is, but its my official day back in the real world.! i'd soon see you, my beloved wooyo. the days i spent crying and thinking about you, people would think i am insane. some already does, that's why im here where i am, but you don't! that's all i care.

you're all i care for, wooyoung, why can't you see that!

i remember that day you were crying on my lap, during the night of our 7th grade dance. you were going on and on about how your date stood you up. i told you that day, i would kill him for you and you laughed it off. you didnt notice but i was so serious about that.

i hated how you looked sad. the way your lips curved into a frown, the light in your eyes would dim as the tears took over them. the way i wanted to cup your face, and kiss you til all your worries washed away, but i just couldn't.

you didn't like me in that way. in the way that i do. you were my first crush, my first love. all i ever wanted was you. no one else. every time you would say you would help me get a girlfriend or boyfriend, but every time i'd shut your ideas down cause all i wanted was you.

i've been so obsessed with you for the longest. when you told me you were at least pansexual, i thought i had a chance. i dreamt about this day for the longest. i was about to be able to hold you, care for you, cuddle you, even kiss you more than friends, but i was wrong. so so wrong.

you hurt me wooyoung. no, i lied, scratch that. you can never hurt me, i was too high up in my delusions to realize you never noticed my feelings and signs. i mean, of course you didn't. you were now dating the stupid, "popular" boy in our middle school.

choi soobin.

oh, i never hated a boy so much in my life until now. i hated how he was able to hold you, cuddle you, even kiss you. he took away your first, when it should've been me. yes we had our few pecks when we were kids, but those were just cheer ups and meaningless things to you. i wanted to be able to taste you, hold your squirming waist against my own.

i remember you kept cancelling our meetups, even our sleepovers cause you boyfriend wanted you. it was always "oh, binnie came over!" "sorry, im with soobin right now." "can soobin come?"

you were so obsessed with him! why couldn't you be like that with me! we could've both been obsessed over each other.

its okay though cause the days we were able to be with each other, alone, it was amazing. you were always near me, clinging onto me, huddling me. you always gave me mixed signals, like you wanted me to still have feelings for you. i'd never feel these feelings with someone else. never have. it's like you want me to be wrapped around your finger.

well here's a confirmation, you have me wrapped around your finger. you always have and always will have me around your finger.

i will one day have you, and you'll one day have me.

not one day, you always had me. always have.

please dont forget me. i know i left you for some years, it wasn't intentional my love! you know i'd never want to leave you! you are literally my reason for my sanity. without you, i will literally go crazy. one of the reasons why im writing this!

hongjoong told me this would be a good idea. you might be wondering who hongjoong is. don't be jealous, he was my therapist at back the asylum. he said it'd be better to write about you rather than writing my thoughts out.. well, thats what im doing but again! i go crazy without you, so.. let me do the math for you!

no wooyoung + me + notebook = crazy and disgusting thoughts

wooyoung + me + notebook = sane, loving, thoughts

me + notebook = my prize possession.

one day you'd read this, and see my progress of my love for you.

you won't leave me after reading all these, right? you love me too much to not leave me. please promise me that, i cant live without you.. you're all i have left.

i'd see you soon, my wooyo.