stalker . woosan

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you've reached the end of stalker !

let me clear some things up. both characters in this story was a self reflection.

wooyoung is my persona that i put out for everyone to see. the less everyone see, the more normal you seem.

san is going to be moreso of like a symbolism of what you want to keep away but it still ends up lurking around, getting closer to you, waiting for the perfect moment to get you.

borderline personality disorder

a personality disorder characterized by severe mood swings, impulsive behavior, and difficulty forming stable personal relationships. some may get triggered into an episode by something some people might consider normal.

causes - being a victim of emotional, physical or sexual abuse. being exposed to long-term fear or distress as a child. being neglected by 1 or both parents. growing up with another family member who had a serious mental health condition, such as bipolar disorder or a drink or drug misuse problem.

example - san's father verbally, emotionally and physically abusing him. being neglected since he came out forcefully as gay.

obsessive love disorder

a proposed condition in which one person feels an overwhelming obsessive desire to possess and protect another person, sometimes with an inability to accept failure or rejection.

causes - people whose parents or caregivers were unstable or abusive may develop abnormal patterns of attachment. This may cause them to become obsessive, controlling, or fearful in their relationships.

example ; san's parents always fought, his dad was an alcoholic. he made himself promise that he'd never do this to his future partner, and he's go over lengths to make sure they're happy.

schizophrenia

a serious and long term mental disorder in which people interpret reality abnormally. this disorder may result in some combination of hallucinations, delusions, and extremely disordered thinking and behavior that impairs daily functioning, and can be disabling.

causes - bases on the person themself. main causes are unknown.

example ; in the first chapter, yeosang was never real. he was made up by san, an "imaginary friend" to fill up wooyoung's place for now. yeosang disappeared as soon as hongjoong gave san his medications.

(i probably didn't include the full description but, you understand.)

these are the big three main topics that san were diagnosed with.

along with the notes, that's when he would write whenever his bpd started acting up and he felt himself spiral out of control. there was one chapter, the one where yunho didn't hang up the photo back, that triggered san. at the end of his note, he cursed wooyoung out on his paper out of anger.

writing this really made myself notice how bizarre and crazy my thoughts can be, while in a relationship. i always wrote san's notes when i was in a episode myself, so i could get it down perfectly. that's why this story took me a while to write.