Where the Thunder Bows Its Head [BL] (Passion Series #1)

KAPITULO 5

[Escape]

Second choice. That's what I am.

However you put it, it's upsetting as it is. To be just an option. A mere alternative. A fucking second-rate. A backup plan—it all comes down to being the most injuring thing to a person, or at least for a prideful person like me.

Especially if you've been placed on a pedestal ever since you can remember. Becoming the second option isn't too appetizing.

Good for me, this isn't the first time it happened.

I would've rolled my eyes and stomped my way out of there if I surrendered to my whims and to my pride. I'm off to a better thing anyway. But weirdly, I didn't lodge on it too much. I let it go quickly. I just gritted my teeth, glared at his back, and sashayed my way out of the barn.

Kung sa bagay, there was a point in my life where I was not even considered to be a choice. Where I didn't win and didn't make the cut. I was never given a chance to be on the table. Option, alternative, second-rate, backup plan–I've never even reached these stages! This is honestly a level-up! Because the only stage I've ever reached in my life is where I wasn't included. Dapat sanay na ako rito!

I've gone through so much for my age, this shit is inconsequential.

I love my new parents, Mama and Papa. I would die for them—no, I would kill for them. But sometimes, I can't help but think about how they would've never adopted me if I didn't work my way just to get their attention that fateful day. Kung hindi siguro ako nagsisigaw roon sa bulwagan ng bahay-ampunan, hindi siguro nila ako mapapansin o matitignan manlang.

Of course, it's totally not their fault. I was very forgettable and ordinary so I can't blame them. And I knew they were looking for a baby to adopt. I'm already lucky they changed their minds and had me instead.

At oo nga naman! Bakit ako pangungunahan ng pride ko dahil lang sa sinabi ni Kidlat, e nakahanap na nga siya ng isasama niya?! Ayon sa kanya, may possibility lang na baka mag-back out. Only for the odds. That's where I'll come for. That's where I'll cover for.

I'm a spare, basically. And that shouldn't hurt.

But whatever.

Tulala ako nang mga unang oras pagdating sa school the next day. It's wednesday today and I heard from Andi, sa sabado na gaganapin ang debut. I barely have time to prepare, if ever he'll consider bringing me. Kung gano'n pala... then he has to decide until tomorrow if I'm still included! Siyempre! Kasi magpapaalam pa ako kina Mama at Papa! Magpe-prepare din ako! Heck, I don't even have any clothes to wear for that kind of event!

I've decided that before tomorrow ends, I'll talk to him again.

"Sino ba rito? Ang daming babae rito."

"I'd really appreciate it if you shut your mouth for a minute, Autumn..."

I heard him scoffing. Nasa labas kami ng library. Hinihintay ko nalang siyang matapos mag-footsocks.

"Sabihin mo kasi kung anong pangalan." He said as he finished putting on his footsocks. "Baka kilala ko?"

"I'm sure you don't." Kunot na ang noo ko sa sobrang kulit niya. "At makikita mo rin naman. Tanong ka nang tanong, bwisit."

He pouted and punched my belly softly.

Hinila ko na siya papunta sa student-staff at pinakita ang library card namin. He waited for me as I returned some of the books I borrowed. Balak ko ring mag-check out ng mga libro dito sa library, pero hindi 'yon ang pangunahing rason kung bakit nandito kami ngayon.

"Okay, just stay here. Hintayin mo ako at kakausapin ko lang. Mabilis lang ako."

Hindi ko na siya hinayaan na makapagsalita, nag-walk out na ako. I heard him calling me to wait but I was eager to have this done.