Where the Thunder Bows Its Head [BL] (Passion Series #1)

KAPITULO 14

[Stare]

I slept well that night. Which was something I didn't really expect considering I felt awful for him. I thought I was gonna spend the night just wondering about it.

Talking to Kidlat that night was something I hold so close to my heart. And something that I might remember even years from now. Nalinawan ako sa mga bagay na matagal ko nang tinatanong, kahit pa sa isipan ko lamang. Pero ngayon na kahit papaano ay naiintindihan ko na ang lahat, hindi ko pa rin maiwasang malungkot para sa kanya.

Even though he doesn't seem to really mind any of it. He seems satisfied. He didn’t complain to me while telling his story. Or I don't know. I could be wrong. Could it be that he's just so good at hiding whatever he's thinking? Good at suppressing his thoughts and feelings?

He doesn't deserve any of this. I really don't think so. No one in the world deserves to be devoid of basic human freedom. To be so isolated. To be so silenced. Siyempre pwera nalang sa mga criminal na inabuso ang batas. Pero kay Kidlat, lalong lalo na sa kanya, dahil wala naman siyang kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari. The issue surrounding him was not his fault but of those who have come before him.

How is he different from being exiled at this point?

It's not his fault that he was born in the middle of a feud between two huge families. Yet, he's the only one suffering the consequences.

That doesn’t seem fair. And it rubs me the wrong way. I feel like I want to do something about it, even though I know for a fact that there's nothing I could ever do for him, and if I did, then it would be wrong to meddle.

It just doesn't feel right to me. And I’m sure to anyone who will know his true story.
His origins are constantly being questioned. And he's been at the center of a family controversy that he had take no part of. I can't imagine how that would feel and how that could affect a person. Alam ko na sinabi niyang sigurado naman siya sa pagkatao niya. Pero iba parin kapag araw-araw ay kinukwestiyon kung gaano 'yon ka-totoo.

I had the urge to hug him last night. But I don't think he's one to indulge in that kind of melodrama, and I didn't feel like insisting it either. And again, I don’t want him to feel bad or to feel as if I’m sympathizing with him. I’ve been to similar situations, kaya alam kong hindi maganda sa pakiramdam ang kaawaan.

Although I still wonder, does he ever get lonely?

That is a query that I could never gather the guts to ask him.

Well, if he does, then this is the last time he's going to feel it. I'm here now. And I'm his friend now. Officially. Sasamahan ko siya para hindi niya maramdamang nag-iisa siya.

Sigurado naman ako na mahal na mahal siya ng pamilya niya. Marami din naman siyang pinsan at madalas ang mga iyon bumisita sa Tarra Garra kaya sigurado akong hindi naman talaga siya nawawalan sa aspektong iyon. He has friends at school as well.

And again, he doesn't look that bothered, to be honest. At times it comes off as if he’s enjoying it, even. The solace and the idea of being alone. Well, at least how he comes off to me sometimes. Pero, hanggang kailan ang lahat? Surely, he can't live this way forever... right?

Anong ginagawa ng parents niya? Hinahayaan lang ba nilang mamuhay siya nang ganito? It might be justified at the start but I can’t believe they allowed it to be this long. Kidlat basically grew up in this situation! Can't they see this is not good for him? Or for anyone?

They may have all the resources to maintain this kind of life for him, away from the normality of being a person, but he can't live like that forever. There’s just no way.

“Good morning! You’re up early?” Andi said in her excited voice when I accepted her call.

Naalimpungatan ako sa tawag niya lalo na dahil nakatulugan ko ang cellphone ko sa tabi ko. I rubbed my sleepy eyes while I listen to her.