freedom ;; xdinary heroes

thirty one

"What happened between you and Gunil hyung, if I may ask?"

Hajun simpered, glancing over at the blonde boy sitting across from him. "I thought Hyeongjun would have told you by now, but... I guess it's better to hear it straight from me."

Jungsu turned to face the other fully, giving him his full attention. "Hyeongjun told me he doesn't like revealing secrets, and I respect that, so I came to ask you myself. I won't tell anyone. If that's what you're worried about."

Hajun heaved out a heavy sigh, leaning forward on the counter. "Gunil and I found each other a few months ago when he needed a job, and I needed a park assistant. I hired him on the spot, and he was somehow Kazuha's junior. He did his job well, and he was really social with the kids that came in. I... did something wrong, though."

Jungsu raised a curious eyebrow. "You did?"

Hajun nodded guiltily. "I, uhm... had a couple of one-night stands with him and... didn't answer him whenever he asked what we are. I guess I was afraid of commitment at the time, but as the days passed, I... fell in love with him. Gunil meant everything to me at some point, and I just... threw it all away because I couldn't accept a loving relationship. By the time I wanted to tell him how I felt, he had already fallen out of love. I lost him, and I blame myself for it at every moment."

Jungsu could see the pain in his eyes. Hajun was hurt by everything he had done, and he felt truly guilty for it all. "Hyung..."

"He wants nothing to do with me, anyway, so the best thing I can do is... move on." Hajun smiled painfully, eyes still teary with emotion. "I loved him — no, I... I love him. And I will for a while. I just wish I could tell Gunil how I felt before things started to crumble. I wish I wasn't such an idiot."

Jungsu gave an empathetic nod, feeling quite sorry for the older. "I'm going to tell Hyeongjun I love him every day. This is a learning experience for me."

"Learning from the heartbreaks of others is one way to keep your own relationship afloat," Hajun chuckled. "But mine was... a special kind of heartbreak. We were both in love with each other, but it was too late. I guess my guts just weren't enough, and I didn't have it in me to truly love him."

"Don't say that, hyung," Jungsu said, his tone soft and encouraging. "I'm sure Gunil hyung still loves you, he just... probably feels that a lost love is better lost. Just keep trying. Don't give up on someone you genuinely love."

"Jungsu, he doesn't want to be with me," Hajun said, his voice cracking ever so slightly as he struggled to hold back tears. "It's too late for me. I don't know why I thought he'd be okay with being with me now. Whatever. I'll get over him — I hope."

•

Jiseok silently waited on the bridge he and Seungmin met every so often, twiddling his thumbs with nothing to do. He just wanted to see his boyfriend and hug him — although they've only been apart for two days, Jiseok felt mentally and emotionally drained without him. He stared out at the water below him, wondering how refreshing the water would feel against his skin at the latest hour.

"Wanna take a dip?"

Jiseok yelped in surprise, quickly covering his mouth in shock before staring at the person behind him. Seungmin wore his signature black-rimmed glasses and black beanie, a small smile on his lips. Jiseok immediately hugged him, arms around his neck as they held one another warmly.

"Oh my God, I missed you...!" Jiseok exclaimed, his voice shaky as he finally broke down in tears. Seungmin softly shushed him, holding him close in their gentle embrace as he softly patted the back of his head. Jiseok couldn't stop crying, and he had a gist of as to why he was so emotional. Seungmin didn't think that someone would love him as much as Jiseok did, and it was quite a shock.

"I'm here," Seungmin said softly, placing a soft kiss against Jiseok's head. "It's okay. You can keep crying, baby. I'll be right here."

Jiseok kept crying for a few more moments before pulling away from the hug, eyes already puffy and red. His nose was tinted red due to his emotion and the cold of the night. "How did you convince your parents?"

"I told them I wasn't happy at home," Seungmin muttered. "There was... a lot of yelling. I told them I'll leave them if they didn't accept me for who I am. I'm not willing to change who I am just because they feel uncomfortable with their bisexual son."

Jiseok looked up at him, wiping his eyes. Seungmin put his hands on either side of Jiseok's cheeks, running his thumbs against his soft skin to rid him of all his tears. Jiseok sniffled, looking away from him. "I look like a mess, I'm sorry—"

"It's okay," Seungmin smiled. "Mess or not, I'm just okay with seeing you. You're beautiful to me, no matter what."

Jiseok used his sleeve to wipe the rest of his tears before Seungmin placed a soft kiss on his lips. Jiseok smiled slightly, nudging his nose against Seungmin's. "Thank you for coming to see me."

"Anything for you, my baby," Seungmin spoke gently, tilting his head to gently press their lips together. Jiseok warmly welcomed the kiss and pulled Seungmin close. He feared losing the other — maybe holding him tightly would be best. He didn't want to lose Seungmin's hold — but he feared that maybe he had fallen too hard.

He worried that Seungmin might not love him as much as he loved Seungmin and that such a close relationship would hurt.

But for now, he'd trust his boyfriend with his heart.