on the next spring | ✓

12

Paper Hearts - Tori Kelly

I was late by two hours that day. The very first thing I heard as I walked inside the hospital was "Patient in room number 5 is nowhere to be found." "She was there a couple hours ago." I heard doctors panicking, nurses dividing to find the patient in room number 5.

All I knew was to run to her, assuring if anything that I heard were apparently true. I stopped panting right in front of her room's door. The said room number 5. I clenched my fist as I shut my eyes, wishing on every star that nothing would have happened. 

I pushed the door open, in hope of meeting eyes with her. In hope that everything I heard and witnessed was a lie. 

My hopes crushed when the first thing that greeted my eyes the second the door slid open was an empty bed, messy and quiet room. I was stunned, I didn't know what to do. I walked inside the room and to the bathroom, but she wasn't there. I went to the medication table, but she was nowhere to be found. I searched the cafeteria, the garden, I searched the whole hospital, but I couldn't see any trace of her except for the doctors and nurses running around as panic as me, trying to find her. 

I crouched down in front of the garden's entrance, exhausted. Yet I didn't let my mind rest. Where could she be? Why did she left, did something upset her? Was she just nearby or did she wandered around far enough to not be found by the residents? 

I did realize that I shouldn't be passive in that heat of a time, and so I got up, made my way to the hospital's frontgate and decided to find her outside the hospital. I knew there were such thin chances that I could find her, but if there were 1/100 possibilities of me finding her, I'd take the risk.

I went to school, and as expected, she wasn't there. I looked up archade, but it had been closed due to debt issues. I went to her neighbourhood - which Mrs Lee had told me about - but the residents told me her house had been empty for months. I searched the restaurants we used to hangout in together, but she was not in sight. I searched and searched till I ran out of places to find her. I didn't know where else could she went to for I didn't know her really well.

Then the remorseful feeling hit me. It hit me for not knowing her well. I regretted not knowing any details about her. 

As I walked through the street, my eyes caught a small yet familiar figure sitting on a bench under the tree in a garden. I squinted my eyes, and as soon as I can identify her, my mouth automatically uttered her name as I ran to her. Breathless, I stopped panting in front of her. who was busy caressing a flower. 

Pink carnation.

The girl then lifted her chin, her gaze met mine. And she stared at me for a solid one minute, completely fell on silence. For some reason, I was nervous. What if by now, she didn't recognize me? What if she'd ask who am I? What if I wasn't ready for that?

"You're here?"

Upon hearing her, I crouched down in relief, resting my head on her kneecaps. The girl who was still in her hospital gown was rather confused to see me there.

It was then when I realized I was so worried. I realized my mind was asking all sort of questions that kept lingering as my feet were busy running around looking for her. What if she got cold? What if anyone hurted her? What if she was abducted? What if she got sick? Did she eat and take her medication before she left?

What if I couldn't see her anymore?

As I was thinking, I could felt clear, warm fluids ran down my left cheek as I rested my head as I rested my head on her kneecaps.

I realized I was capable of getting worried.

Before I could even stop myself, I started sobbing, my shoulder was shaking as I tried to hide them but I couldn't help it. I didn't know what stage of emotion was I in, but despite the worried essence and scared emotion stirred up inside of me, I felt relieved. I was beyond it that I started smiling while letting my tears away. 

She was there. She wasn't going anywhere.