on the next spring | ✓

me, you and spring

Hai Cheng - The 8

A guy in his late twenties stood in front of the memorial space, zoning out as his eyes met the framed photo on one of the slot. He smiled to himself, reminiscing three years ago, when everything started. When he learnt the bitter truth. He thought he would be mad now that he was here, but instead, he felt it. The love, the warmth. He hated that he could feel it. 

"Hey." Was somehow rude, but that was how he imagined himself talking to him.

"So you're that man? Mum talked a lot about you." He chuckled, eyes darting on the floor before running back to the framed picture. 

"You looked so much better than what was described to me. You're good looking. I wonder how good looks and good hearts came hand in hand."

"I'm Park." He bowed. Went straight on his back and smiled. "Her husband. No, let me rephrase that. Her ex husband."

"Why? Did she suffer with me? Did I abuse her? No, you don't need to worry about me hurting her in any way. I had never even lay a finger on her. I'm simply not her husband anymore because..." He glanced at the framed photo on the next slot. "... Because she's no longer with us."

"It was unfair. The whole marriage was unfair. I worked with Mrs Lee - mum. I had a lot of stuff I wanted to thank her for, and for that I volunteered to marry her daughter. She was sick, but I could handle that for sure. Anything to assure that Mrs Lee wasn't having a hard time. But to be true, cause I wasn't an angel, it was unfair."

"I was tied around her, but she wouldn't look at me. She wanted me to read her a scrapbook another man crafted for her. I was pissed, I tried to talk her out of it, but she cried. She cried a lot because of you. I felt hatred. I hated her, I loathed her, as if my youth was taken away from me."

"We got married four years ago. I held this resentment for a year straight. I was mean to her. At times, I would purposely let her starve because I was mad. Now you're gonna kill me about that."

"But I couldn't hold it long. I tried to give in, solely because I felt sorry. I don't love her. I really don't love her. I came to realize I sympathized with her. I thought it was love when I had a soft spot for her, but whenever you were brought up, I knew mine wasn't as strong as yours." 

"A man loving the same person who didn't even recognize them for years. That couldn't be me. I'm not like you. I really am not like you."

"Three years ago, I gathered courage to ask mum about you, and she smiled answering my question, like you're the second most precious person after her daughter. She told me a lot about you. Day by day, I felt like I grew closer to you. Like she was telling stories about my close friend. And over time, I came to like you."

"Your way of loving, your way of admiring, I like that from you. I came to understand the crazy fondness they both had for you."

"So today I came here, three days after she left. It's spring now." Park reached out for the framed picture, caressing the glass, as if it was his friend's. 

"I wish, she's on her way to you now."

"Thank you for loving the way you did."

He left, walking to the door, before stopping and looked over his shoulder. "Let's meet on the next spring too."

- end -