on the next spring | ✓

16

Rapuh - Nastia

"I understand what you're trying to do, son. But..." Was the first thing Mrs Lee said to me after we settled down on the chair under the oak tree in the hospital's garden. I figured what would be her next filler. I filled my lungs with enough oxygen as I waited patiently for her to complete her sentence. 

"You... Shouldn't waste your youth like this." 

"She's my daughter, I'm old enough for this. I don't have much time either, I had gained a lot through years I spent in this world. But you're not like me, son. You're young, talented and you have lots of stuff ahead of you. You shouldn't waste your opportunity to enjoy your youth as a teenager for my daughter. She..." Mrs Lee held back her tears, I could see that. I was utterly stunned. Mrs Lee was the strongest person I'd ever seen, but that particular day, for the first time, I saw her initiated tears down her cheeks. 

"My daughter would remain that way for the rest of my life. I..." She paused, took my hand and caressed them gently while looking in my eyes. I didn't realize clear fluids started streaming down my cheeks. 

"I don't want my son to lose his youth, too."

My son. 

She called me 'my son'.

"M..." I hesitated for a while. "Mum..." As soon as the word escaped my mouth, she looked at me with a smile on her countenance, and threw her arms around me. Her warmth, from the very first day had never failed to send me courage. Not even once.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry you need to... You need to waste your youth... I'm sorry." She patted my back, sobbing on my shoulder. I closed my eyes and hugged her tightly. Her motherly scent filled my nostrils, that it gave me an unexplainable feeling. 

"If it's for her, I'd waste my entire life." 

"If it's for her, I'd waste everything I had till I've got nothing else to give and eventually fade away." 

I could feel her grip tightened. 

"I raised myself with no love around me and no one to take care of me, but your daughter took care of me in those four years." 

"Your daughter showed me how it felt to be taken care of, to have someone to rely on and to laugh with." 

"So if it's for her, I wouldn't care." A bead of tears rolled down my cheeks as I bit my lips, restraining myself from crying. That day, I wanted to be the one who offered Mrs Lee consolation. Someone for her to tell how vulnerable she was.

"Thank you..." I paused as I could feel the hiccup coming. My hand patted Mrs Lee's back. 

"Thank you for giving the world the most precious gift." 

"Your daughter."

+++

I opened the pink notebook, and my eyes was presented with a page full of doodles. A giggle escaped my lips, as I read the little notes on each of the doodle. 

On top of a heart doodle who was busting a minilove, there was a note that read "Mr Heart, loving everyone is his job." 

Under a cupcake doodle with a pouty face, read a note "I want to eat you TT" 

I chuckled. Why was she that cute?

I remembered that pink notebook vividly. It was that one notebook she carried everywhere she went before she got admitted in the hospital a few month back. Mrs Lee handed me the notebook, telling me that there were things I should know and everything were inside the notebook. I was contemplating whether or not I should read it, but as I sat down alone in the hospital garden, I found myself reaching for the notebook inside my backpack. And before I knew, there I was reading the very first page of the notebook.