on the next spring | ✓

13

Remember Me - Gummy

"She's gotten worse." Was the honest review that I wasn't expecting from the doctor, which happened to be told that very evening. It felt like a big chunk of myself was falling apart as I was comprehending the information I had just received. Mrs Lee, who was just right beside me at the moment was rather silent. She looked sort of collected and prepared, but I just knew she wasn't exactly feeling the same way inside. I didn't know what type of earthquake was occuring in her mind then.

"At this rate, she might be unable to take care of herself, and she need lots of guidance from people around her. Gradually, she'll lose memories of detailed things, such as taking shower, changing clothes, make her bed, or as simple as wearing shoes when going out. These little incapabilities are the things we need to catch by our own. She wouldn't know what she missed, she wouldn't realize what she forgot, thus we're the ones who need to watch out for her. And ma'am, about what you asked me last week -" The doctor paused, looking straight into Mrs Lee's gentle eyes. The elderly woman straightened her posture, politely bowing to the doctor, as a sign for him to continue. 

"- Your daughter won't be able to attend school." The sentence crushed into Mrs Lee's expression for a while. She was silent, she was staring to the doctor, as if she was waiting for him to say 'sike' or flat out telling that he was just messing around. But instead, the doctor spun his gaze around the room everywhere but meeting Mrs Lee's gaze. She bit her lip, prolly helding in the disappointment that came invading her sense.

The girl love studying. She was the stop student, she still is.

"As she experience brain shrinkage, there are no particular treatment to cure the disease. It's the kind of disease that thecnically live with you for a lifetime. Its progress is unpredictable, too, resulting difficulties in forcasting her abilities from time to time." I could see the doctor was trying to give out the information without actually symphatize with her mum.

She would rather being slapped by the truth than being kissed by the lie. 

Mrs Lee and I left the room, quiet and noiseless. "Mrs Lee." I called out for her, who was right in front of me at that moment. She smiled and said gently, "What's wrong, son?" Her gentle voice made its way to me, pressing my chest with the sharpest arrow. Son. The motherly figure I'd been longing my entire life. My eyes were warm. I told myself I shouldn't cry in front of her. I should show her how strong I was, for she was practically fighting alone for her daughter. 

"Will she be fine?" was what unconsciously slipped my mouth. I looked her in the eyes, desperate for her answer.

"What do you think?" She asked me back, still didn't lose the smile that was carved on her lips. I frowned, confused. I didn't know what to feel honestly. This past month I'd been losing focus on everything, I'd been lost in an endless maze trying to figure out what should I do. But nothing actually came to mind. Suddenly the warm fluid ran down my cheek slowly. I realized my shoulders were flinching little by little, the air in my chest forcing themselves to escape my lungs, I didn't know. "I.. Don't have any idea. She was gon-gonna be like that for - her entire - entire life why - I - why her? Why exactly -" 

Then Mrs Lee gently pulled me in her hug, wrapping her warm arms around me and patted my back. "It's okay, son. Cry. It's okay. It's just us." She kept on patting my back, and the strength I was trying to showcase broke down and I eventually sobbed in her arms. I muttered whatever I want to her. And all Mrs Lee did was caressing my hair, wiping my tears and telling me to cry harder, letting the emotions away. It was as if she was taking care of a little child crying. And I in particular had never received that much consolation. 

We ended up crying together in the hallway, right in front of the doctor's room. I could felt my shoulders getting wet by her tears, but I didn't care. Amidst the heartfelt cry, she whispered to me.