𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

17 | Lied To Me

*Now playing - Been Like
This by Doja Cat*

Was it envy? I couldn't quite figure it out. I was happy for them, all of them but something in my heart hurt as I watched the table filled with all the smiling couples that I knew as my closest friends and maybe go as far as my chosen family.

I loved them all and though I wasn't the greatest at showing it, I did. They all tried their very best to help me through the months even when I pushed some of them away—they tried.

Chan and Valerie looked really good together, sometimes when I looked their way briefly I would catch Chan whispering something into her ear and she would subtly laugh about it. They drifted into their own word and it reminded me a lot of Jisung and me when we were younger and our parents forced us at the dinner table but the only thing that motivated us into agreeing was the whispers we snuck in between the back-and-forth conversations with our parents. I miss those days but I need to live in reality.

I found that I thought back to the past a lot more than I should. I always found it hard to forget about certain things or just live in the now. Wasted time is one of the most devastating losses. It's something you can't get back and it's taken me most of my life to realize that.

The dinner table went quiet as Valerie rose up from her seat with her wine glass in hand. "I just wanted to thank everyone again for coming and agreeing to be here" She spoke with her bright red lips. "I know how much you all mean to Chan and each other" She stopped and I felt her eyes linger on me for a few seconds longer than the rest. "I hope you all like me"

"We love you!" Felix shouts and the table erupted into laughter and cheers before quieting down again but still small laughter.

She smiled, showing her straight white teeth. There was no doubt that she was beautiful. She stood there with short black hair and a bold lip, I would say she screamed confidence but at this moment she showed us a vulnerable side, a side that showed that she cared what we thought about her.

Her face grew serious and that made everyone confused as she started to speak again "I asked Chan to invite you all here and yes part of it was to meet you all—the people I hear some much about"

"Aw—Channie loves us that much?" Changbin jokes around and Chan looked almost confused.

Valerie looked down "But the idea of this dinner didn't get come directly from me"

I look at the others, all of us confused and Chan puts his hand gently on Valerie's arm "Babe, your the one that came to me with the idea"

"The idea was mine"

It seemed like everyone froze as the voice surrounded us and reality pushed us back down, making us—making me figure out what was happening.

I slowly turn my head to see him standing there. He looked different, though I just saw him yesterday. Maybe it was because he was in the room with all of us again. Something that weighed over me since he showed back up was the fact that I had to keep it a secret from everyone.

Nobody spoke as he slowly walked in and I could tell that half of him regretted this and another half was relieved that he finally did it.

"I asked Valerie to plan the dinner" He spoke again, his eyes going to me. I look down and try to put together the pieces of how he and Valerie knew each other other than being neighbors.

"Valerie knew where you were this whole?!" Chan said, the sound of the chair scraping the floor as he stood up.

"More importantly, she knew who he was and didn't think to mention it to us!" Changbin also spat.