𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

34 | Who We Used To Be

*Now playing - Better Man by
Taylor Swift (Taylor's Version) *

His lips on my hot body were supposed to be the only thing on my mind.

I knew it was wrong of me to call Luca right after leaving Felix's, to use him to make me feel better about myself.

It was like a never-ending cycle that I couldn't break. I hated that I needed someone to validate my worth even when I told myself that I don't, but I do.

I pull away and pull my shirt over my head, the cold air hitting my now-exposed chest. My lips were right back in his as he walked me backward into the room.

I try to kiss away the lingering feeling as I touch his body. Pulling away again as I watch him look at me "Are you sure about this?" He asks.

I nod "I've never been more sure"

⚠️SEXUAL CONTENT⚠️

Maybe we should've slowed down but we didn't. Stripping out of our clothes and finding our way into the bed, his hand roaming my body and sending chills across the area.

My body reacted to his touch, his kisses on my neck and down to my chest. I watched him get up and reach over to his nightstand, grabbing a condom and I sat up.

He was about to question me but I kissed him before pulling away, saying "I want it rough"

I saw a slight smirk on his face before I turn around and bend over, feeling his hand run over my ass that is perked up in front of him.

The anticipation was killing me, I hadn't been this intimate with someone in a while.

"You look perfect" I heard him say before slapping my ass, making me grip the sheets on groan into the pillow. "So beautiful"

"Then touch me if I'm so beautiful" I spat, feeling myself grow harder.

I felt his lips on the hot area he had hit and a few seconds later I felt his finger circling my hole. He lets out a small sigh when he finally adds a finger.

One finger led to two and two led to three. I was moaning and ready for more when he finally gave it to me. Filling me up and whispering sweet nothing as I mostly cared about this pleasure he was bringing.

I had said rough and he surely didn't disappoint. Gripping me harshly and wrecking into me with no rhythm. I don't think I lasted long before I was coming undone and my legs fell weak.

After, we lay there in silence, on our backs and staring at the ceiling. I wasn't really sure what to say but something was telling me to run, while another part of me wanted to stay.

I sat up and looked at him "I have work tomorrow" I said, "I should go"

I watch Luca sit up as well, "Already?"

I swallow harshly and nod, standing up and ignoring the discomfort. I grab my clothes and put them on almost in a rush. Looking up and seeing Luca sitting and the edge of the bed, I frown.

Walking to him, I hold his cheeks and gently run my thumbs over them. Looking into his eyes "Stay?"

I give him a small kiss before pulling away "I'll see you soon Luca" I grab my shoes and put them in before walking out of the room and out of the apartment.

-

I lean on my door after I close it, my eyes falling closed and I let out a long sigh.

Meow.

I open my eyes to see my cats standing in front of me. I put on a smile "Hungry?" I ask, walking past them and into the kitchen. Putting food and water into their bowls before walking into the restroom.

I turn the shower on and get out of my clothes. My eyes fix on my reflection in the mirror and I hold my breath. No there weren't marks, mostly because I had said I didn't like them, but I still felt disgusted with myself.

I couldn't help but feel like I used Luca. Like I always have used him and painted this idea of him in my mind. I liked him and I was comfortable with him but today I did use him.

The look on Jisung's face ate at me after our conversation and I wanted to forget about it. I wanted to forget about the way he made me feel and continues to make me feel. I wanted to realize that I could feel the same about another and not just him but maybe I'm wrong.

I felt a tear slip from my eyes as I turned away from the mirror and got into the shower. Feeling the emotions of the day come rushing back.

I washed up and as I finished and dried myself off, I had thought that the crying for the night was over but I was wrong.

The tears continued and so did the conversation with Jisung in my head. I had told him I was happy and I was but I've been happier. I couldn't be happier.

I walk to my closet and my eyes go to a box that I had not unpacked, even though I've been here for a while, there were still boxes filled with Jisung's things that I didn't touch.

I walk to it and open it hesitantly before pulling out one of his dress shirts. My fingers ran over the material, pulling it to my nose as I inhaled the scent of him that still lingered. More tears escape my eyes and I put on the shirt.

I miss you, and I miss who you used to be. Who we used to be.

*Now playing - Better Man by
Taylor Swift (Taylor's Version) *

Truthfully, I didn't want to go into full blown detail on the smut but didn't want to just skip past it.

I know there are some of you who love the idea of Minho and Luca, there are also some of you who hate the idea.

This is a minsung book sooooo yeah.