𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

37 | I Would Be Okay

*Now playing - doomsday
by Matilda Mann*

Flashback
I knock on the door impatiently, my vision blurry as my anger rises.

I needed my best friend. I needed to feel like everything would be okay but it was hard when it didn't feel like it would ever be that.

The door opens quickly, revealing a very tired-looking Jisung. "Minho, it's 1 AM" His voice was hoarse, he had just woken up—I had woken him up.

"Sorry" My voice was small, afraid it might come out as a yell from all the rage I held in this moment.

Jisung seemed to notice my mood, or he had just seen the noticeable tears in my eyes. "Minho" His voice was soft, automatically making me break into a small sob.

Jisung pulls me into his chest, wrapping my arms around him as I try to get myself together. I was never afraid to show my emotional side to him, but naturally, I held in emotions when I felt deeply about something that would no doubt affect me long term.

He didn't ask me what was wrong as he held me, his hands slowly rubbing my back to calm me down and when I did I pulled away. Rubbing away the tears as I felt his eyes on me, "Let's go up to my room" He said with a still soft voice.

I followed Jisung to his room, not saying a word as we walked through the dark house. Getting to his room, I stood beside the door—my eyes following him as he closed the door quietly before turning on his lamp to light up the space.

I was just here a few hours ago but within that time my world now felt like it was closing in.

"I argued with my mom" I spoke quietly, knowing we should as his dad was asleep down the hall. Jisung's eyes found mine, I walked to his bed and sat down—looking down as I shook my head lightly "How can she allow him to do such things to her" I whispered, mostly to myself.

I felt the bed dip next to me "What happened?" He asks me, probably confused about what I'm talking about.

I swallow harshly, "When I was walking back home" I start, I bite at my bottom lip as I shrug "I thought I was hallucinating or idk—going crazy" I felt my eyes water once again, "He was with some lady" I looked to Jisung, "He's been cheating on my mom"

Something flashed in Jisung's eyes, "Been?"

"It didn't look new," I said, "And my mom confirmed it once I told her" I looked away and stared absently at the floor, "Two months"

"What the fuck" Jisung cursed under his breath. My family always showed Jisung so much love.

"She didn't even seem hurt about it," I said, sounding confused "Like she already dealt with the pain"

I look at Jisung and he lets out a sigh "She loves him that much?"

"I don't see why," I told him the truth, "What he did is disgusting, if he loved her he wouldn't put her through that type of pain" I shake my head.

Jisung frowns "Yeah, I know what you mean" He looks away from me, "Did you bring it up to him as well?"

"No," I said, "She practically begged me not to and that's when I just—" I stopped and inhaled sharply, "I don't even know what I said, I just remember shouting at her" my lip quivered as I felt the guilt in me.

"Hey," I felt Jisung's hand on my shoulder.

I looked at him and shake my head "It's not her fault" I admitted to mostly myself, "It's not her fault that she loved him enough to forgive him"

Jisung pulls me into a hug again as silent tears fall from my eyes, "Will you forgive him?" he asks.

I think I held my breath when he asked, pulling away and meeting his gaze, I hesitated "I-I don't think I can"

Jisung gives me a sad smile, his hand slowly going to my cheek as he wipes my tears away "And that's okay, you don't have to if you don't feel it is right" I frown, "But I do feel like you will in the future"

I furrow my brows "What makes you say that?"

"Even if you don't like admit it out loud, you have a really big heart Minho and you can't help but forgive others"

I chewed at my bottom lip again, falling back into his chest and Jisung let out a small chuckle at my action—accepting my clingy nature when I'm sad.

"Sometimes it feels like you're the only one who understands me," I said out loud for him to hear, "Because, how can anyone else?"

And it was true. I don't know why I grew up feeling so misunderstood by everyone, but I soon realized it had a lot to do with me. I never had people take the interest to get to know me, like really get to know me. All of me, the good and the bad and I never made the effort to open up because of that.

Jisung did. He laughed with me—laughed at my not-so-funny jokes. He watched me with the biggest smile on my face, which was mostly caused by him. He was there for the good moments and when he wasn't he was the first one I told about them.

Jisung was also there for my bad moments, like this one. He was there when I cried, sometimes even when I screamed. He never left my side and I realized that early on, so I felt myself growing codependent on him when I needed to feel better. Something about his presence gave me peace of mind that I would be okay.

Right now, that's what I felt. I would be okay.

*Now playing - doomsday
by Matilda Mann*