"i may end many lives but for you love i will give you a reason to live"

drunk

TW: sh

Bells POV:
i wake up to find myself cozily placed in a bed with lots of blankets on top of me. I don't remember falling asleep here, I remember being stubborn to Klaus, I remember lying on his chest, I remember him apologising, all my memories came flooding back to me.

    I look around the room, i turn to look at the bedside table and on it is a small yellow post it note.

It reads:

        Dear Belle,
As i said last night i am very sorry. There's a few matters i need to attend to but then I will come back to you and you will be by my side for the rest of the night. I am going to experience a great change in my life tonight and I want you to witness it and be by my side supporting me, during it.
                    ~ Niklaus

For some reason I felt quite honoured that Klaus had thought of me so highly that he wanted me to be with him for whatever was going to happen in his life. However part of me knew whatever it was it couldn't be good, with Damon's screams still echoing in my mind and knowing Klaus' tendency for evil I did not feel good about what was going to happen tonight.

I got up out of bed to have a shower and clean myself up.

Once i got out of the shower, I was really quite bored as life without my phone was very dull. I walked into the main room expecting to see Katherine but she was gone. The room was empty.

I was actually quite disappointed i wanted some company even if it was a psycho doppler ganger.

I sat down on the sofa and sighed. A billion thoughts of worry, anxiety, stress, fear crept into my mind.

   What is Klaus going to do?
                                              What happened to Arlo?
    Is dad okay?     
                              Why did Damon scream?

    Is Elena dead?             Why can't I help?

I feel useless, helpless. I know so many people are struggling due to the person I hold close to my heart. How can it be that a person who causes so much harm and damage to people is the reason for my main source of happiness? Why is he doing this to innocent people?

Suddenly my emotions change from grief to rage.

He took me away from my family. He took me away from Freya. He killed me. He ruined my normal life. He killed the innocent. He is a monster.

I get up off the sofa and start opening drawers, throwing stuff on the floor, smashing glasses in a fit of rage.

When I'm opening cabinets and throwing the things inside I come across a couple bottles of vodka. I pause thinking about smashing them but before i knew it I was pulling the caps off and swigging the bottles down one by one.

I found myself screaming, yelling, slamming things at the door. I was drunk. Very drunk. But i was also mad. Very mad.

A mirror hung upon the wall, I was just about to smash an empty vodka bottle into it when I saw my reflection.

An angry woman drunk off her arse is who i saw glaring back at me.

But I didn't just see her, I saw my father before he went on the meds. I saw his face that was covered in rage but I saw behind that a broken young boy.

I looked at myself again in the mirror.

I saw my father, not a broken young boy, not a broken young girl. I just saw my father in me.