DEVIANT HEARTS| HEESEUNG

20-Uncalled Heat

Chapter 20

As I stepped back into my apartment that evening. The almost 12-hour shift had taken its toll on her, leaving my body feeling drained and my mind exhausted. I sank onto the couch, allowing myself a moment of respite before confronting the solitude of my apartment.

Would every day be like this? The thought lingered in my mind, wondering if I would ever get used to the intense demands of my job. Despite my hopes of adjusting, the constant emotional and mental strain seemed daunting. Still, I reminded myself that I had chosen this path and that I had a purpose to fulfill.

Images of my father lying in the hospital bed haunted her, and the memory of my mother's tragic suicide lingered like a persistent shadow. I wished I could banish those memories, but they seemed etched into my subconscious, unwilling to fade away. Part of me was grateful I hadn't witnessed my mother's death as a baby, but another part longed to understand the woman who had brought me into this world.

Unbeknownst to me, my hands began to pick at my fingertips, a nervous habit I thought I had overcome months ago. The taste of blood on my lips snapped me back to reality, "Fuck. Fuck." I stopped my assault once I tasted blood before I grabbed an appointment and eased the pain in my fingertips. "Foolish," I whispered, massaging my fingers gently to ease the pain.

I signed as I laid my body on my bed again before the image of Heeseung was playing in my mind like a broken record. What would it feel like to have him behind her? In front of me? Is the rough or gentle, his voice turning into a raspy gruff?

I needed to stop thinking this way.

Why couldn't I get that damned man out of my mind? He wasn't a nice person, he wasn't somebody I should have been thinking about.

It was highly illegal and extremely wrong of me to do so. He was under my care and my mind was totally inappropriate. He was not a good person, and I knew I should not be entertaining these forbidden thoughts. The illicit fantasies invaded my mind once more, imagining what it would be like to be close to him. I shook my head, trying to dispel the inappropriate visions.

I'm going to hell.

I'm so screwed.

Just as I was about to hit my pillow again the thoughts tangled my mind another time.

Did he make me nervous because of the way he was or did he make me nervous because I wanted to do more than I was allowed?

I was confused as hell.

I had to get him out of my mind once and for all.

I think it had something to do with the prisoner Heeseung. God, why couldn't I just keep my cool?

The moment I stepped into my office, I was enveloped by the distinctive scent that belonged to him alone. I was addicted.

"Didn't get much sleep last night?" Heeseung's deep voice cut through the silence as he turned his head to look at me. His black eyes bore into her, our intensity both intimidating and captivating at the same time.

"No. Not exactly," I replied, feeling a slight flutter in my stomach as his chin rested on his palm, his jawline chiseled and defined, reminding me of his mugshot.

"Why not?" His jaw clenched, accentuating the rugged lines of his face. The way he looked at me made my heart skip a beat, but I reminded myself not to let my guard down.

"Don't test your limits, Mr. Heeseung," I responded sternly, trying to maintain a professional demeanor.

As I settled into the conversation, I couldn't help but notice the fascination in Heeseung's black eyes as they followed my every move. It was as if he was trying to unravel the depths of my soul, and yet, I sensed something more than mere curiosity in his gaze.