DEVIANT HEARTS| HEESEUNG

12-Apologies to Forget

Athena

I brought him to his knees. My feet stood beside his laying body on the ground. My mind struggled to process the horrifying scene that had just happened. I didn't want to believe it, to accept that such darkness existed. It was a sight I could never erase from my memory, a haunting image that would forever haunt my dreams.

I sedated him with Silenor making his body lay unconscious on the cold, hard ground for three hours. The guards took him to his bed, as I stood watching them doing their job with one word running in my head- coward. He made sure I heard it before he fell asleep. my eyes fell upon the scene in front of me, my thoughts came to a screeching halt. Heeseung's state stabbed my heart, the sight too much for me to bear. His body was still covered in blood, the crimson liquid dripping from his bound ankles. His wrists and ankles were tightly secured with ropes, making it impossible for him to escape.

Three hours later. I entered the code to open the barriers, my fingers trembled with a mix of apprehension and fear. Coward.

I couldn't erase the memory of his dark eyes glaring at me, his strong grip on my neck suffocating me. It was a terrifying experience, especially coming from someone who had been my patient, someone I had prioritized and cared for deeply. And yet, he had shown me my worst nightmare.

I blamed myself for what had transpired. Coward. I believed that it was my fault, that I had somehow triggered his other, more violent side. The injections meant to suppress his darker tendencies were taking a toll on his brain, and I wondered what would happen if he didn't receive his medication in the future. I tried to catch my breath, but my thoughts only accelerated, making me feel as if I was on the brink of blacking out. my heart pounded inside my chest like a frightened rabbit, and a wave of nausea washed over me. Coward.

The cell seemed to spin, and I found myself squatting on the floor, desperately trying to regain control over my racing thoughts. The sickness I felt was overwhelming, threatening to consume me entirely. I couldn't help but feel a surge of pity for him and for me. Setting the tray of food on the dusty ground, I slowly approached the sleeping boy, his back turned to me. However, before I could take another step, his raspy voice halted me in my tracks.

"Leave me alone," he uttered, his words laced with a mixture of pain and resignation. Summoning the courage to speak, I pleaded, "You have to eat something."

"Don't worry, the medicine is enough for me," Heeseung replied dismissively, his voice tinged with bitterness.

"Please, Heeseung," I implored, my voice filled with hurt and genuine concern.

He turned his head, locking his empty eyes with hers. His gaze fell on my neck, where the red marks from his hands still lingered. Disgust washed over him, and he averted his gaze, unable to bear the sight of me. The feeling of disgust consumed him, stirring up a whirlwind of self-loathing and guilt.

At that moment, my realization hit me hard. I instinctively reached up to cover the bruise with my collar, pulling it up to hide the evidence. Despite my best efforts to conceal it with makeup, the mark still persisted, a visible reminder of the pain I had endured.

Heeseung wanted to lift his hands, and gently brush against my red bruise, but he couldn't.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as his face contorted with anguish, his chin trembling like that of a lost child.

Static filled his mind once more, the side effects of constant fear and stress. He heard his own cries, raw and desperate, echoing from the depths of his soul. It drained him of what little strength he had left to give.

I looked at him with a mix of pity and sadness, my eyes filled with compassion. I attempted to touch his shoulders, to offer comfort and support, but he backed away from me for the second time, unable to tolerate my touch.