DEVIANT HEARTS| HEESEUNG

13- A Taste of Sinners

I sat across from Heeseung, my face devoid of makeup, wearing a simple gray hoodie, and my hair pulled back into a tight ponytail. It was the same unassuming appearance that Heeseung had grown accustomed to seeing ever since I had taken on the role of his therapist. I wonder if he cared someday about how I look. And there he sat, with his glory scarred cheek wearing his jumpsuit.

I had made a silent resolution not to bring up the painful subject with Heeseung, at least for now. I couldn't bear the thought of another victim painted in blood because of my actions or decisions. I was determined to tread cautiously, aware of the delicate balance between helping him and triggering his darker side.

"Alright, let's get started," I murmured softly, breaking the silence as Heeseung settled into the chair in front of me I started to record the session for myself- the records are for me to keep. His gaze remained fixed on my desk, his eyes seemingly entranced by the swirling patterns on the surface of my coffee cup. The cup sat before me, its contents nearly depleted, with only a single sip remaining before it would be empty. The cup was having his attention- not me.

With a steadying breath, I brought the cup to my lips, and his brows furrowed. Heeseung's silence continued to hang in the air, as I placed the cup back on the desk, the final sip remaining untouched, I sensed a shift in the atmosphere.

"If you could rate your mood from one to ten, one being the worst, what would you give yourself?" I softly inquired, my eyes flickering up to meet his while I adjusted my glasses. The subtle movement of my fingers triggered a faint clenching in his jaw. There was something about the way I pushed up my glasses that irked him.

"Five," he replied flatly, his voice devoid of any emotion. I nodded, my pen gliding across the paper as I jotted down a brief note.

"So, in the middle, not too happy or excited?" I probed further, my voice cautious and measured. "Is there any specific reason for that?" I asked, treading carefully, aware of the potential for a volatile response. He cast a brief glance in my direction, his eyes filled with a mix of guardedness and apprehension, before shaking his head. I scribbled down his response, my pen scratching against the paper.

"Well, okay. How was your day? Did you do anything new?" I inquired knowing that it was a stupid question to ask, leaning slightly back in my chair.

"No," he rasped, the word dripping with an undercurrent of darkness. I fought the urge to clench my legs together, the intensity of his tone sending a tingling sensation through my body. "Okay," I trailed off, my voice faltering slightly as I felt my cheeks flush. I quickly redirected my attention to my notepad, furiously jotting down his response as if it could distract me from the charged atmosphere between us.

When I mustered the courage to look up at him again, I noticed the arch of his brow and the subtle movement of his tongue pressing against his cheek. It was a suppressed amusement, a hint of something sinister lurking beneath the surface. The sight made my heart race, a mixture of fear and fascination intertwining within her.

"If your thoughts had colors, what would be the color of yours?" I asked, tapping my pen against the desk, my eyes fixed on him intently. Deep down, I longed for him to say black, which resonated with the darkness that consumed his soul.

"Gray," he uttered the word hanging heavily in the air. Silence enveloped them both, amplifying the weight of his response before I broke it.

"Why?" I inquired, my voice laced with curiosity and a tinge of apprehension. I needed him to unravel the complexity of his thoughts and reveal his mind's intricate web during this therapy session.

"Because it is complex," he replied, his voice carrying a hint of mystery. Heeseung paused for a moment, his gaze fixated on my gray hoodie. "It's a mixed color that can thrive in your mind, tricking and playing with it. Gray can be the color of sins and at the same time, virtue. It has the power to blur the lines, turning sins into virtues or virtues into sins," he continued, his voice lowering in tone. "You can deceive your own mind with this color, manipulating the very essence of your being."