Hopeless

Chapter 36

Phoenix's POV

"Are you ok?" Payrin asked me as she handed me the clothes for tonight's concert.

I didn't say anything, just bit my lip and nodded, taking the clothes and going to the bathroom to change.

'Wow, I'm a mess. A red-eyed, unlovable mess, and it was a miracle that I had fans that bought my album,' I thought to myself as I saw a red-eyed monster looking back at me in the mirror. I wanted the blade, but I left it on the bus. It could wait, I suppose.

I came out, throwing my other clothes on the couch, and grabbed my water bottle, sitting in the stylist's chair for my prep team to do my hair and makeup.

I made some comment that they might need to use more concealer than normal, and I zoned into mindlessly listening to the latest chatter, also catching up on Twitter.

It kept coming. More and more hate. It poured in by the boatloads. There was really no way to avoid it, other than getting off Twitter, so I switched on to Pinterest. At least then, I couldn't get hate. Or so I thought.

Soon enough, my prep team was done, and Payrin sent me to go to Harry, taking my phone, which was probably for the better, but I stole it back from her right before she finally shoved me out.

I was in such a fog, I didn't realize that soon enough, I was knocking on the dressing room door to have Harry hold me again.

He opened almost immediately, drawing me into his arms and taking me to the couch, holding me like I was about five. I leaned my head against his chest and fell into a state of semi-consciousness, like I really cared to be awake and alive.

Harry's POV

Phoenix seemed so frightened when I admitted her into the dressing room, where Louis and Niall were being as rambunctious as ever, and Liam was up to his armpits trying to keep them from destroying the place.

"Niall, can you PLEASE stop chasing Louis in JUST your boxers?" I heard Liam getting impatient as I chuckled. Liam heard me and turned to glare at me.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"You wouldn't find it funny if you were doing this," he grumbled.

"No, I wouldn't, and the only reason I can't help you is because this," I motioned to Phoenix curled up against my chest.

"Ni, mate, can you please behave for Daddy Liam? I'm a bit tied up, and Lou, please, take your pants off your head. You both should be getting dressed," I instructed, helping a frazzled Liam out a bit. He gave me a grateful look.

They stopped what they were doing, looked at me and Phoenix, and put their clothes on, also putting themselves on vocal rest until the show.

Phoenix's POV

It was time. I had to put aside this emotional wreck that was me and bring out the happy, bubbly, extroverted side of me. No one outside our tour circle could know.

"HOLA PAMPLONA!" I strut out on stage and greeted my crowd in Spanish. It was well-received, for they screamed the loudest I've ever heard. I looked off-stage at Harry, and he gave me a thumbs-up.

"Yeah, I speak a bit of Spanish," I smiled at the crowd and they screamed again.

"Let's start this party off with a bang, shall we?" I cued the band behind me, and they began to play my first song of the night, I Want Crazy.

******Four Songs Later******

"ADIOS PAMPLONA! YOU WERE FANTASTIC!" I shouted into the mic, waving to the crazy fans as I walked offstage and straight into Harry's arms. The bubbly side of me could go back into hiding now. It was all over.

"It's over now," he had one hand on my back, rubbing it up and down, and the other holding my head to his chest. One of the blessings of being short: you end up hugging tall guys' chests and it's wonderful.

He handed me my water bottle, and I drank from it, almost downing it in one guzzle. Those lights were brighter than my future, and I was almost drowning in sweat.

"Haz, can I go change? I'm dying in these polyester pants," I asked the lad who was still holding me.

"Polyester? Really? I thought Payrin had better sense than to put you in polyester," he chuckled before sending me off to my dressing room.

The pants weren't polyester, but I didn't figure that out until I looked at the tag later. They were just really hot, and the sooner I could get out of them, the better.

When I came out in my t-shirt and sweatpants, I could tell that Luke and the other lads were almost done with their last song, Do You Want To Build A Snowman. The story behind why they were doing this song was as part of a really drunk game of Truth or Dare. I dared all four of them to add that song as the last song to their set list for the whole tour, because I had made an official version of Let It Go, and I figured it would be the best way to showcase how 'punk rock' they were.

"Good luck, lads," I said as I gave Harry a hug before he ran onstage with the other lads.

I had no sooner turned around to go sit down somewhere, when Michael and Calum attacked me with hugs. I screamed a bit, and Luke, Ashton, and Payrin giggled at me.

"Calum, don't you already have a girlfriend?" I furrowed my eyebrows together.

"Yeah, but I can hug you. That's one of our agreements. Plus, it's you. And, Payrin knows I won't cheat on her with you," he grinned.

"So, I guess you have no issues with me hugging you?" Michael grinned cheekily at me.

"No, but why would I?" I was confused.

"No reason. But it's good, because I've been entrusted as your personal person," he crossed his arms and gave me a cheesy grin, but I returned the hug, thankful that Harry had been thoughtful enough to give me a go-to person in each band I was touring with. He was an amazing brother.

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Author's Note

So, I updated a chapter, and then wrote and published another chapter in less than twenty-four hours, with some humor and some seriousness. If it's not up to par with my other chapters, do allow some grace, since it's about 3:30 in the morning where I live, and I can't sleep. I've already Skyped people today, helped a friend with a chapter for their story, and added some supporting deets into a Google doc I'm using for story elements... That made no sense. Sorry.

Lizzy-Loki