Colton's Miracle ✔️

33. Stronger

Lily:

"Are you sure you wanna do this, baby?" Colton asks for the third time when my finger hovers above Mama's number on the screen of Colton's phone. We decided that I should call her from a number she wouldn't recognize, just in case she refuses to pick up a call from me. "We can figure something else out, or at least wait until we see what Gabe's father can find out."

Taking a deep breath, I shake my head. "I'm sure."

Colton's frown deepens and my heart warms at the worry I see in his eyes. "Do you want me to stay or do you wanna have some privacy?"

I smile at that. "I always want you by my side, darling. You give me all the strength I need."

He rewards me with a proud, wide grin, and a soft kiss to my lips. My body still tingles with pleasure every time he touches me, the memories of last night flooding through my mind.

Pulling away, I remind myself to focus, and I finally let my finger slide across Mama's number. I lift the phone to my ear, its ringing just as loud as the pounding of my heart. But as I nervously wait for her to pick up, I realize that I'm ready now.

I'm finally ready to fight back if I have to. I'm ready to put an end to her verbal abuse and tell her for once that I'm not at fault. The second she chooses to tell me that I'm living a life I don't deserve again, I will tell her that I have finally seen the truth behind the lies she had been feeding me for six long years. If Mama goes there, I will tell her that even though I'm sorry Anne died, I'm no longer sorry that I survived, and neither should she be. I'm more than ready to remind her that I am her daughter too.

Because I'm not the same Lily that has left her hometown with her head hung low and guilt eating at her bones. I'm a lot stronger now, and I won't let anyone convince me otherwise.

"Hello?" Her voice is softer than I've heard it in years, and for a moment I find myself back at that playground, my hand tightening around hers as she promises to buy me ice cream if I get on the swings.

I take another deep breath, shutting my eyes. "Hello, Mama."

"Lillian." My name leaves her in a breath that I'm not sure whether is a gasp or a hiss.

"Yes, it's me." I clear my throat. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I have something to ask. I know you don't want to hear my voice, but I promise I wouldn't have called if it wasn't important."

A moment of silence passes.

"I have a question." I repeat. "Will you answer me?"

"Yes." She clears her throat too and I can't tell what she is thinking. "What is it?"

"It's about Anne." My voice loses the coldness I dipped it in at the mention of the one person we both have loved and lost.

This time her gasp is clear through the line.

"There was this guy." I go on anyway. "He asked her to prom. I think she had a crush on him or something. Do you remember that?"

"Yes." She almost whispers. "Why are you asking about this? I don't understand."

"Do you know his name?" I ask urgently, refusing to let myself be sucked by the memories of her voice calmer than it had been in years.

Maybe having me out of her life is what she truly needed to let go of her anger, to be able to go back to the sweet woman she once was.

And I would be lying if I said that fact doesn't break my heart just a little.

But it is okay. Because I too needed her out of my life in order to be free of everything bad and evil. I too chose to let her go.