"Do you have any wine?" a gruff but sultry voice asked. You jolted up from the cupboard as you accidently dropped one of the glasses, shattering into a million pieces. A squeak escaped your mouth as you turned to the voice, grasping the table behind...
You let out a sigh as your body was stretched across the log boat. A chuckle escaped Puss as he looked at the map. "Do your job, demon flowers." Puss said looking at Jack struggle with the flowers. You raise an eyebrow. "In their defense. They were quite cute." you remarked. Puss laughed. "That's only because you took the friendly approach!" he answered. You shrugged.
Puss stared at the star on the map. "Soon..." he said, rubbing his beard. His rubbing soon turned to itching. He growled, quite irritated. "Okay, Kitty. I think I've got it now." Perrito said. He strained as he tried to mimic their anime eyes. "Trust me." he said. his eye nearly popping from it's socket. "Easy, easy. You're gonna give yourself a hernia." she soothed. "Here one more time like this..." she said before closing her eyes. "Trust me." her round black eyes sparkled.
"Ah! But of course I trust you, Y/N, and Puss, even without the eyes." Perrito added. I sighed. "Yeah. Big mistake." Kitty said, sitting in a badass pose. "What do you mean? You're my friends." Perrito said. "You know what trust gets you? A sock, a rock, and a swim in the river." she said, counting as she went. "You have to trust somebody, right?" Perrito asked. "Not me. Uh-uh." Kitty said standing up. "Whenever I've let my guard down. I've been double-crossed, declawed, played and betrayed." she said, looking at clueless Puss (Who was preoccupied with the possum on his face). "Never again, I am a solo act. I keep my secrets and play my cards close. Take it from me, never trust anyone" she said, holding the dogs sweater. "Wait, wha--That's amazing!" he yipped. Kitty threw his sweater back to him.
"Kitty has a point, dog. When I trusted someone I got my ass kicked and leg tore up." you answered, taking off your boots and socks. You dipped your feet in the water. "Speaking of which, how did that happen, Y/N?" Kitty asked. Puss cleared his throat as you and Kitty looked to him. "Kitty, I've been thinking." he purred. "Ugh. Thinking about what?" she rolled her eyes. He twirled his beard in his hands. "My beautiful beard. It is very distinguished, yes. But it does deprive the world a good look at...my face." he said, lifting his hand under his chin and throwing a attractive grin. (So shmexy)
"So if it would make you happy, I would be convinced to..."
"I've gotten used to it." Kitty remarked
"Wait, what?" Puss asked, frantically. A snort escaped your mouth. "The beard. Keep it." Kitty added. "Yes, Puss it's very lovely." you teased. "Uh...well you see...hehehe. Kitty, please, get this itchy thing off of me!!!" he screamed, rolling on the floor. "It's like a fever on my face!!!" he begged. Kitty looked at you as you smirked, giving a small nod. She turned to Puss. "Hold on. Is the great Puss in Boots asking for help?" she joked.
"Sí, help. You were right. The beard is disgusting!" he said, itching the beard with his stick. You pitied the cat. "And?" Kitty asked. "And it's like a possum crawled on my face." he wailed, his face contorting with every movement. "And?" she added. You snorted. "And died of shame." he finished, sorrowfully. His eyes big with begging. You 'awwed' before looking at Kitty. She turned her head back to Puss. "Okay, okay, possum face." she said. She threw a kick but it never came at him. She bent down holding a small blade. "I remember that!" you added. Kitty grinned. "I won't make you beg." she said.
"Don't worry, Puss. You're in good hands! She did my hair once." you added as Kitty set Puss down. She scooped some water in her hand before slathering some soap on his Viking beard. She got to work. "Hey, slow down! Ow!" he complained, "Go with the grain. You gotta go with the grain!". Perrito sat, excitedly waiting for the afterlook. "I know what I'm doing!" she warned, "I'm the master of the blade, right Y/N?" she asked before turning Puss around.
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"Ooh!" you cooed, clapping your hands together. Perrito snorted and laughed, pointing at his beard. "I think it's nice." you added. "What? What? What's funny?! Nothing should be funny!" Puss yelled. "Quieto" Kitty warned.
Kitty took the last pieces of fur off a she looked at Puss. "Ah, there's that handsome face I remember." she added. "The face I haven't seen since..." she nicked him with her blade, causing a yelp from the ginger. "Santa Coloma." she finished. "Ah, yes...Santa Coloma!" Perrito said in a glamourous accent. "You had it coming." she said, pointing the blade at Puss. You tapped Kitty's boots in reassurance. "Here, you can have my gatito blade." Kitty added, handing Puss the small blade.
"Thank you." Puss said with a hint of confusion. "Better than a stick." you said, putting your socks back on, followed by your boots. "Vaya con dios, stick-sword!" Puss said, putting the small blade in his belt and throwing the stick into the nearby woods. Perrito let out a bark as he lunged into the water. "Perrito!" you hollered, the dog unheeding to your calls. "Perro. What are you doing?" Puss called. You smiled "I'll got get him!" you said, jumping into the water. You were knee deep when you walked up to shore.
You went into the thick willow tree canopy. "Perro!" you called. "Looking for something?" a nasally voice asked. You snapped your head to see none other than Jack Horner holding your beloved dog. "Let him go!" you hissed. He smirked. "Surrender and...Mmm, maybe I'll think about it." he said, waving his crossbow back in forth. You sighed as you walked forward to the tall man.
His men grabbed you arms and tied them up. They pushed you to the tall man as you knocked into him, falling on your sore behind. His fat fingers grabbed you by the rope as he lifted you over his shoulder, causing a yelp to escape out of you. His hand patted you body down. "No map." he groaned angrily. You heard a whistle as Puss called for you and the mutt. Jack smirked. "Let's pay your little friends a visit, shall we?" he said, giving your rump a pat. You hissed.
(1088 words. I promise people it will get good next chapter!)
