Lose You

18.

Aria

I wake up in Shelby's bed with a killer head ache and roll over but she's gone. I slowly sit up and my head spins as I try to pull it together. Last night was a complete mess, I can't believe that Ace hit Dallas like that. I spent the hour after he disappeared talking Dallas into not pressing charges against him and thankfully he listened. Abel drove me home and then he and Conrad went out to find Ace, I was worried but too upset to stay up and wait for him. I think fighting is stupid and so unnecessary which is why I snapped at Ace for hitting him. I've seen him angry before but last night was a whole new side of him that I haven't seen. 

I stand up and almost puke from the massive pounding in my head. I walk over to the door and open it, but the hallways quiet. When I get to my room I notice the bed is empty and made, did they not come back last night? A slight panic sets in as I hurry downstairs and into the kitchen where I find my mom and Shelby whispering "Where is he?!" is the first thing out of my mouth.

They stare at me with this sad and disappointing look "Sweetheart...." my mom starts and I cut her off and look around.

"Where is he mom?!" Shelby hands me a piece of paper with his writing on it.

"They left this morning" she says cautiously.

"What?" I take the paper and walk over to the couch.

I sit back and read it Aria, God I don't even know how to do this or exactly what to say. By now you probably know that we left and I'm sorry I didn't goodbye. After talking to the guys last night something became very clear to me...I don't think we should be together anymore. I continue to act out and fuck things up for both of us and it's not fair. I don't want to risk hockey or hurting you even more then I already have. It might not makes sense now but eventually it will and just know that I care about you so much and this wasn't easy for me to decide. 

I don't even know how many times I read his note, but each time my heart break a little more. He left and basically broke up with me. Tears stream down my cheeks as Shelby walks over and sits next to me, she wraps her arms around my shoulders and holds me as I fall apart. I feel so confused and heartbroken... for the first time ever my heart is completely broken. This is what it feels like? This is the awful feeling I've wondered about and now I just want it to go away.

My mom walks over and sits on my other side "What happened last night?" 

I pull away from Shelby and wipe my eyes "It was more than just last night... it was a build up of multiple things" 

"Talk to me sweet heart, it might help" she reaches over and squeezes my hand.

I take a moment to calm myself down and then I tell her everything from the beginning. I start with how he was my tutor, what happened with Mason and so on. I even tell her about his and Mason's past to give her some more insight on their feud and hatred towards one another. She listens, doesn't interrupt or even talk until I finish saying everything.

"I think he's struggling with things internally Aria and acts out when it comes to you because you're like his safe place. He clearly cares about you, I would never doubt that. But, he has a lot on his plate and maybe he just needs time to figure it out" 

I nod "I know, but it hurts mom... it's hurts so much I love him"  she leans over and gives me a hug, both her and Shelby. 

They spend the rest of the day trying to cheer me up. We go out and get our nails and toes done, then I get a hair trim and we go shopping. When we get home later in the day we help mom start preparing for Thanksgiving tomorrow. Shelby and I are in charge of the pies so we go to the store and buy all of the ingredients to make one from scratch and they turn out beautifully.