an Everlasting Pursuit

eleven

I collapsed onto my bed with a groan, my arms falling amongst the sheets. Everything hurt except my mind which had fallen into a numbness I have had many times before. Eve tried to coax me out of my dress to shower, claiming it would help my muscles but I had refused.

"What's wrong Ailia?"

She had been trying for the past thirty minutes to soothe me and as much as I appreciated her efforts, my mind had shut down. But I knew I would have to indulge her in a minor part of my mind; she had been kind enough to help me.

"I can't handle this." I murmured, staring up at the blank ceiling.

"Which part? The pain?" She asked, sitting by my head.

I shook my head, an effortless laugh escaping my lips. "I can handle the pain. I have endured enough of that."

She paused, and I felt the featherlight touch of her fingers along my jaw. I turned my head to look at her and she gave me a slight smile.

"Then what is it?" She wondered, pulling a strand of my hair that had become stuck in my earring.

It surprised me I still had those in, to be honest... The small diamonds that Darius gave me for the Spring Festival seemed like a lifetime ago. Even the heaviness of his engagement ring had slipped my mind, but I came to find I had lost it since the moment I woke up.

"The whole thing." I shrugged. "I thought I was going to die out there, and I happily would accept it. My life wasn't the best, and in the end, perhaps going into death was easier. But I wake to this new world, where I'm living amongst the... nightmares we are told about as children and I'm meant to accept it? My mind is mush and the sight of all of you brings back the fear I believed as a child."

Eve remained silent, a frown on her face as she thought about my words.

"I'm sorry you don't like it here, but I know you will-

"Eve," I interrupted softly. "I am out of place here. I am human and against all of you, I stand no chance of surviving. Just one look at those beasts you call men and I'm hit with a multitude of emotions. Most of them are fear based."

She exhaled a loud breath, nodding her head gently. "I understand. Although I have never been in your situation, I can see how strange it must be."

"Thank you," I mumbled.

"What would you like to do? What would you like from me?" She wondered.

I grasped her hand in mine. "For now? Can I just have some painkillers and alone time?"

"Of course," She nodded, pulling herself from my bed.

Five minutes later, I was lying in bed in peace. The curtains were wide open and revealed the sunny afternoon I could enjoy from outside. But I was content indoors, safe from the monsters outside. It was funny how I used to want to be outside away from my monster, but ended up the other way around in this new life.

Thrown into the deep end, I wasn't sure if I could swim to the shore.

+++

Voices outside my bedroom door woke me from a nap. Another day had passed of being cooped up in my room, and I knew I wouldn't be able to stay in here much longer. Eve gave me food and had been overly cautious with me. It had me on edge, waiting for her to drag me from the room.

I sat upright in my bed when the voices didn't disappear and I knew whoever it was, was just standing behind my door. I recognised Eve's voice easily, but she was talking in hushed whispers to someone quieter.

Gritting my teeth, I rose from the bed and hobbled my way towards the door. Using the wall as a support, I opened it in one swift motion. I had a glare in place ready to confront her, but the appearance of a practical stranger had my stern demeanour vanish.