an Everlasting Pursuit

sixty one

The dining room was fairly calm today. Apparently, most of the wolves were still out on a run. It was only twelve, but Piper was hungry and decided that I had to join her. I didn't mind; enjoying the softness of bread and pastries. I could well class it as one of my favourite past-times.

Asra wasn't here, much to my disappointment, so lunch time passed pretty uneventfully. No one stared at me as much as they did in the past, the odd wolf saying good afternoon and then that dreaded word. Luna.

I frowned, mulling over the new title I was unwillingly given.

"What is it?"

My head snapped to Piper with confusion. "What is what? My lunch? It's just a-

"No, not your lunch." She grunted, rolling her eyes. "Your head. What are you frowning at?"

I laughed. "Oh, it's nothing."

"Is it though?" She tutted, grinning.

Shrugging, I played it off as nothing. "Just the new title."

"Ah, I see. Think you are not worthy of it?" She smirked.

"No, not that. I just..." I looked around, dropping my voice. "Don't want it."

Her head cocked with confusion. "How could you not? Ultimate power at your fingertips, and the entire pack to control."

I laughed, standing to leave the dining room. "Yes, you are totally selling it now."

She nudged her shoulder into mine as she rose too, snorting. "I'm glad I am. It is your destiny, after all."

There it was again; my destiny, my fate. They already played my life out like a book and I, the main character, just didn't know the final chapters. I did not know how it ended, but some strange Moon Goddess already chose my fate. It was eery, rather strange to think of.

I was not a religious person, my town raised rather atheist. I learnt that many decades ago, most of the humans believed in a God, but a lot of them lost their faith when the supernatural came and killed most of us. My parents and my town were one of those groups of people, born to live day to day until the end, when we succumbed to a sickness or accident. So, it was strange for me to think there was something else, that I was some wolf's soulmate.

The fact I even had a soul mate was bizarre. I didn't deserve one. What had I ever done in my life to deserve one? I did nothing extraordinary. I worked, looking after my family when Dad passed and then got engaged to an evil man. How did that make me a suitable leader of an entire pack? Better yet, Asra was a Continental Alpha, so that just adds even more power to my shoulders.

I didn't want it. I didn't want to control people; I didn't want to decide their fate.

I couldn't be a leader of a race that I wasn't even born into. It didn't feel right. They were raised their own way; they have their own beliefs and systems. A human controlling so many wolves? It was humorous.

My mood doing a complete flip, I told Piper what I felt as I climbed back into bed. She sat on the end, frowning as she listened patiently. It felt good to let it out; I had complete trust in Piper. She listened to my feelings and let me rant uninterrupted until I reached the end of my monologue. Then I sighed, staring up at the plain white ceiling.

"Well, I don't know what to say to cheer you up... but I will say something." She began. "You may feel these things, but you are here for a reason. You have more empathy, more emotion than most of the wolves here. I see it in the way you talk to people, but yet you bring yourself down so much."

I frowned, about to protest, when she shot me a glare to stop. I sucked my lips into my mouth, my eyes widening with understanding.

"The fact you feel so down about this because you feel unworthy just shows how gentle you are. Maybe it's what we need, a gentle hand to help us." She shrugged. "Also, you must have some instinct, no matter what you say, because you live in his room now."