an Everlasting Pursuit

fifty four

I lay for hours in my own pity, wondering what I had done wrong. Asra asked me to tell him my secrets, and I let him in, just for him to leave? I couldn't understand why.

Eve had eventually come for me, checking that I was okay. I had stayed quiet, still distraught over the previous few hours. She had repeated everything Asra had given me the basics of; wolf's blood, been here for the night, been gone for a day.

A lot had happened in less than forty-eight hours and although I was no longer in pain, the ache that settled in my chest and gut was hard to shake.

By the time the afternoon ended and evening came to take a hold, Eve had come back and tried to feed me. I had declined, saying I felt sick and with a scowl she left it be. Before she stormed from the room, she took out my drips and told me I could leave whenever I want since the wolf blood had healed me. She had shut the door rather harshly, causing me to wince at the loud sound.

I just kept upsetting people, didn't I?

I rolled onto my side. The wires and needles no longer in my skin meant I could move around the bed easier. I tucked my hands beneath my chin, pulling the multitude of sheets up to my nose. Bed was comforting; bed was a haven. I think I would stay here for the night, then deal with the spiteful looks I may receive at the pack house.

Would Asra be there?

Has that where he had gone? To hide in his giant mansion away from me?

Was I that disgusting?

My thoughts truly were my own worst enemy. But despite even the harshest of feelings, I still drifted off to sleep.

+++

Still half asleep, a scuffling noise caught my attention, causing me to pull the blanket tighter around me. Footsteps fell lightly, so gently that they were hard to pick up. My heart jumped in my chest, my adrenaline waking my mind without my consent.

Fear.

It gripped my throat, cutting off the precious oxygen that I needed to breathe.

Was it that time already? Was someone here to finish Blake's job?

A hand gently pressed into my shoulder and I fought hard to stay still. They patted me lightly, and I whimpered with fear.

"Ailia..." they whispered, and I froze.

My body fell numb to the voice, my heart stuttering as the fear quickly subsided. Instead, anguish took its place and with all of my strength and dignity, I peeked one eye open and turned my head to face the wolf in the room.

"Tulip, I am so sorry."

My jaw clenched, fresh tears burning at the sight of Asra leaning over my bed. His hand encased my entire shoulder, squeezing it softly when we made eye contact. Betrayal coated my very soul. Staring into his sorrowful eyes did nothing but make it dig deeper.

"Tulip?" His hand moved to caress my cheek.

I closed my eyes, unable to move my face away since I already pinned it to the pillows. His fingers were rough and calloused, and the faint twinge of metal hit my nose.

Was he bleeding?

I couldn't help but turn into his touch, curious about why I could smell blood. Blinking past the night-time light, I saw him dressed in new clothes. His hair was damp and dishevelled, his blue eyes painful as they begged me to speak. Where had he been? Why was he wet and in new clothes? Did he leave me to shower?

"Talk to me, please."

I exhaled heavily, settling my eyes on his own. "Why?"

He stopped his feather light touch on my cheek to clutch my shoulder again, dropping his head to the floor in shame.