an Everlasting Pursuit

fifty three

My mouth open and closes like a fish, unable to figure out what my brain is trying to tell it. Asra's eyes watched my face with curiosity, trying his hardest to remain calm. I knew he could hear the racing of my heart in my chest, and no doubt the adrenaline coursing through my veins.

Fight or flight.

I wanted to flight. I wanted to get away from the conversation so badly.

But I couldn't.

Asra had proven himself.

The weird beast of a man-wolf had given me more than anyone in my entire life.

Time.

Patience.

When I needed him, he came to save me. He noticed my trauma and realised I have a hard past, and he wasn't up in-arms about getting answers. He's supposed to be my soul mate, for crying out loud, so why is it so hard to trust him?

I had to pull up my big girl pants and face him head on, despite the wedgie it may give me. They sent this man to me from heaven, or whatever it was. Within as little as twelve hours, he had tracked me down despite the use of scent blockers, and tore me away from the man who threatened to sell me or even kill me.

However, now I am worried about my future. What if the mysterious buyer found me again?

It sent a shiver down my spine and I clutched onto Asra's hand as the thought crossed my mind.

Asra wasn't Darius.

I could see it now.

He was mature. Smart. Quick-witted. Handsome. Sexy...

Yet he was mysterious and quiet. He had secrets in those oceans of eyes, deep thoughts that went beyond his beast's side. He had feelings that wanted to break free, words that he wanted to say, but he never allowed himself.

We are all built around our own trauma, our walls closing it in. It was just up to us as individuals to see past that.

"Ailia?" He wondered, squeezing my hand.

I blinked out of the daze, giving him a hesitant smile. "Apologies. I was... thinking."

"Rather hard about something." He quirked an eyebrow. "Was it something I said? You don't have to answer if you don't want too..."

God-dammit, this man was going to be the end of everything, wasn't he? He didn't even care that I daydreamed.

"No, it's..." I swallowed nervously, about to put part of my life in this man's hands. "I want to tell you."

A small crack of the weight on my shoulders crumbled, brushing past my elbows as it hit the floor of the room. Asra noticed the change, sitting up slightly straighter as he observed me.

"Okay..." He hesitantly smiled.

I never thought I would find a beast so attractive... Even his smile...

Ailia. Serious time. Wedgie approaching.

"As you know, I had a fiancé." I began watching as his body stiffened. "He was called Darius. His parents were the leaders of the town. The wealthiest of us all, they ran pretty much everything."

I rubbed my thumb along the back of his hand, dropping my eyes to follow the pattern so I didn't have to see the disappointment on his face. He had the smallest white scars around his knuckles that I smoothed my thumb over.

"My mother... after losing my father, she... groomed me until the age of twelve, where she then retreated into her dark cesspit of a home and never came out. I had to work to stay alive, barely scraping by and often skipping meals to keep her and my sister fed. I trained myself to become a chef, tried so hard to get that income. Then one day, just before I turned sixteen, she perked up as though nothing had happened."