To The Ones Who Can't Dream

chapter 81 - You Deserve To Be Happy

TW: violence

     Seren had been sitting on the roof of the House of Wind for some time, just watching Velaris go about its morning. Her mind kept going back to last night. Replaying over and over what it had been like. And when she had woken up this morning, with Rhys's arms wrapped around her, she was the happiest she had ever been.

      But when she looked up at Rhys and he had paused, she just knew it hadn't meant as much to him as it had meant to her. And she couldn't let herself be hurt again. She wouldn't allow him to reach inside her body, grab ahold of her heart, and tear it into pieces. So she had played it off like last night was nothing to her. Like it was just a fun fling.

      So Seren had forced herself to get out of bed, go away from Rhys. She thought maybe, just maybe, he would contradict her and ask her to stay. But he didn't. He had squared his features and let her leave. Just like that.

      Although she felt like crying, she refused to let any tears fall down her cheeks. She was stronger than this. Her feelings for him would pass, she just had to weather the storm. It probably hadn't been the best idea to sleep with him considering how fragile her heart was. But she couldn't bring herself to regret the decision. She'd choose him a thousand times over.

      Seren felt a dark presence manifest next to her. Immediately, she knew who it was. Without turning to look at him, she asked, "What do you want?"

      In hindsight, she probably could've been nicer to him but she wasn't in the mood to play nice. "Nothing really, but the shadows have been whispering about you and I just wanted to come and check up on you," Azriel replied.

      She swiveled her head toward him and realized he was frowning to himself. "I don't know why, but the shadows wanted me to be by your side this morning," he told her.

     Seren turned back around to look back at Velaris without responding. Az moved closer to her and knocked his wing against her, "Are you alright?"

      She thought about lying to him and saying that everything was fine. But she knew Az would see right through all that crap. She shrugged, "I don't really know."

      Then, she made the decision to tell him about everything that had happened with Rhys. She knew she could trust him and that he wouldn't judge her for any of it. Az sat in silence as he listened to her talk. When she told him about this morning and how she had left, she paused, "I couldn't just stay there and wait for him to reject me. All I wanted was for him to just ask me to stay but he didn't. I told myself a long time ago that I wouldn't let anyone in again. And I meant it."

      Az wrapped his arm around her shoulders, "I've seen the way Rhys looks at you. And trust me when I tell you, I've never seen him look at a fae the way he looks at you. He absolutely adores you. He practically worships the ground you walk on. So I can guarantee last night meant a whole damn lot to him."

     Before she could respond, he added, "And Seren, you deserve to be happy. I know you might not think that, but it's the truth."

     Seren mulled his words over for a moment before whispering, "Deep down I think I don't deserve the kind of love Rhys could offer me. He's too good, too kindhearted, so much better than me.  He shouldn't be tainted by my presence."

     Az sighed and wrapped both arms around her, "He would be lucky to have you Seren."

     "Thank you Az," she said as she hugged him back.

      They broke apart and Azriel opened his mouth to say something but he was cut off by far-off screams. They both jolted to their feet, "What the fuck?" Seren said in alarm as she searched for the cause of the commotion.