cuz you and i - [Max Mayfield]

Excuses

They all end up at the Wheeler’s basement, looking for whatever clues they could find out about Vecna and to keep an eye on Max as well

From the very moment they entered the place, Max has been stuck on a desk, writing God knows what while using a surprising amount of paper, Steve, Dustin and Lucas looked over papers on Victor Creel, apparently the first victim of Vecna from the 1950’s.

Belly however wasn’t doing any of this, she was just sat in the corner, rarely blinking as her eyes stayed put on Max’s back, it didn’t exactly feel good, knowing that in a few hours, either they will break the Vecna curse on Max, or all of this would end, these were the last moments she had

Belly felt this overwhelming urge, something she had a hard time brushing off. She patted her right pocket, and felt the plastic cover when she sighed in relief.

Steve started talking to Dustin and Lucas about the papers they were reading, which Belly was not interested in at all, so she didn’t even try to listen, she pulled out her walkman and set her headset on her head, just to block out the voices

She only put down the headset when she saw Nancy and Robin walk down the stairs towards them

“We have a plan” Nancy said as they both sat 

“Thanks to Nancy’s minions we’re now rock-star psychology students at the university of Notre Dame” Robin informed as the rest looked through the booklet

“I am now Ruth” Nancy said

“And I am now Rose” Robin followed

“So we called Pennhurst asylum, told them we’d like to speak with Victor Creel, for a thesis we’re co-writing on paranoid schizophrenics…” Nancy explained

“To which they said no” Robin informed

“But we landed a three o’clock with the director” Nancy said

“Now all we have to do is charm him and convince him to let us talk to Victor” Robin voiced out

“Then maybe we can rid Max of this curse” Nancy said as she looked over to Max who was still writing away something

Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, Belly lost focus, looking at Max again, she thought she’d get up and go to her to talk, but way too many doubts were in her head, but when suddenly Steve ran off following behind Nancy, Robin whispered to Belly

“You may not get this moment again” as she followed them

Belly was shocked as to how Robin knew what she was thinking, but she didn’t let herself waste any time over the thought, she got up and walked over to Max her walkman in her hand

Max freezed for a moment, before she continued to write again

“Hi” Belly said awkwardly trying to get Max’s attention, her voice hoarse

“Hi” Max said looking up at the girl

“What are you writing” she asked as she tried to look at a paper when Max suddenly kept all the papers away covering them

“You can’t look at it” She said

“Hey c’mon” she said smiling as she kept the walkman on the table, as she leaned on it so she was facing Max, a moment later it all got really silent and awkward for the two as they desperately tried to find something to say

“Well, I guess this is it, you wanted me gone, I am going” Max said as Belly furrowed her eyebrows “When the Byers were moving away” she reminded the girl of what she did

“Hey Max, no” Belly said her voice soft “I did not mean any of it” She confessed

“How do I… trust you?” Max said and it was the most heartbreaking thing to hear for Belly

“Max, I know it was a really fucked up thing for me to say, I should’ve been there” Belly paused for a moment trying to search for words to describe her feelings “I.. I don’t know what was going through my mind, my head was already so fogged up from the Starcourt stuff…” she said the words carefully noticing if it was okay, if Max was okay with the mention of it

“So you became inconsiderate?” She asked

“No, I mean yeah I did, but I don’t want to blame it on whatever happened,because that is not an excuse for my behavior, but I just want you know that, I still care about you, I always cared about you” she said, and for the first time in months, it felt good to say something

Max, who heard every single word, pretended like she did not care and started to put the letters she wrote in envelopes,Belly took this as a sign to get back to her place on the sofa, so she did, a moment later, Belly felt her hands shaking as her breathing became rapid, she closed her eyes, as Steve, Dustin and Lucas kept staring at the back of Max’s head

“I know you guys are staring at me” Max looked over her shoulder as the three guys acted unsure of what Max was saying

“Huh? You said something?” Steve said as Belly kept her eyes closed

“How you think your eyes boring into the back of my head is protecting me from Vecna, I don’t know” she said as she walked over, standing still for a moment “You can look at me now”

“Thank you. Sorry” Steve said, as Lucas and Dustin repeated

“For you” She said handing Dustin a letter “For you” she handed one to Steve “And um you” she gave one to Lucas Belly wasn’t sure if she should open her eyes right now, so she didn’t

“Hey Belly” Steve called out as she finally looked at Max who handed her a letter with her name written on it, she felt her hands stop shaking as she reached out for the letter.

Belly looked at it in confusion, as she tried opening it

“What are you doing? Don’t open it now, that’s not for now” she cautioned as Belly hurriedly secured the letter in the envelope again, worried

“When is it for then?” Belly asked the question on everyone’s mind

“It’s for after. In case if things don’t workout” she said as Belly felt her heart drop

“What do you mean? Yes, things will fucking work out, I am not gonna sit back and read a letter while letting you die, I am never gonna let you die” Belly said as she kept her letter on the table and headed towards the bathroom

She kept her hands on the basin as she stared  at herself in the mirror,again  breathing heavily, she took out the packet from her pocket, and saw only two white round pills inside. She took a deep breath, before breaking one in half and keeping it on her tongue.

She knew she was in deep shit all the ways she could be.