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Look at the title!!!
Tw for
Noncon... yeah
Drugging
Kidnapping
Blood and heavily described gore
Cannibalism
Cannabis/weed mention
Mention of alcohol
Piss. (satirical)
Abuse
Somniphilia
Rapey priests at your door (joke)
Necrophilia
A LOT of smut
And of course, kinky
Self Harm

Don't get mad about not reading the tw

This list will very slowly get updated more and more

This is a Male reader x Male character!

Oh, that'll also kind of be a comedy at times, and is DRENCHED in satire!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T CONDONE ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN THIS BOOK, KIDNAPPING, MURDER, ALL OF THAT IS BAD AND I DO NOT CONDONE IT. IT IS YOUR FAULT AND YOUR FAULT ONLY FOR NOT READING THESE RIGOROUS WARNINGS AND IT IS MY FAULT YOU GET TRIGGERED BY THIS BOOK. I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR PANIC ATTACKS, OR BEING REMINDED OF PAST EVENTS AND I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO NOT BE CONTACTED AND ASKED TO REMOVE ITEMS FROM THIS BOOK, AS I WILL NOT REMOVE ITEMS YOU FIND OFFENSIVE.

You have been warned. ON WITH THE SHOW

You've been invited to your friend, Daniel's house for dinner. How nice of him! You're making your way up to his house, your hand coming up to knock on the door. You knocked on it hard, waiting. After a few seconds, Daniel opened the door. "Hey!" Daniel had a chipper voice "Hello! It's nice to see you again, Daniel" You replied calmly, Daniel stepping aside to let you in. As your foot met with the floor, you got a delightful waft of lovely chicken tikka up your nose! You breathed in deeply "That smells wonderful, what are you making?" You turned your head to look at Daniel, but Daniel not being there. "Im making chicken tikka!" His cheerful voice from the opposite side of where you last saw him made you jump "Daniel! Don't pop up like that, it's scary, and it's weird.." You sounded serious, Daniel nervously laughing "Sorry... You can hang your coat up, I'm just about to serve the food!" He walked to the kitchen, putting some of the chicken tikka onto a plate. You made your way to the kitchen, sitting down. You took a fork and started to eat. "Oh Daniel, this is delicious!" You chirped, eating faster. "I'm glad you like it.." You gulped down a bit of food as you felt cold metal pressed against your neck "... Daniel?" You glanced down, seeing a knife pressed up against your neck. This made you go to get up now. "DOWN." Daniels's stern voice made you sit back down. "Keep. Eating." Daniel pressed the knife against your neck. You picked up the fork, continuing to slowly eat. Every time you swallowed, your neck pressed into the cold knife for a second. Your eyes darted about, yet your eyelids felt the need to close. You slumped down a bit, looking up at Daniel and seeing his warm smile. You felt hazy as your eyes closed and your mouth opened slightly. It's time to take a nap, I'm stuffed...

Your eyes opened to Daniel sitting in front of you. You felt a hard, cold surface against your back. A wall. You had your hands tied up behind your back. You whimpered, giving a sigh and trying to get free. "Stop it, you'll hurt yourself..." Daniel put his hand on your thigh, moving his hand up to your hip. You shuddered, his warm hand holding your chin "Now..." Daniels's hands were surprisingly soft. It gave at least a bit of comfort in a scary time. "Kitchen knife or rope?" He had such a calm, collected voice you didn't realize the absolute absurdity of his question. He rubbed your face "Go on, answer... Knife or rope?" He had a more insistent voice now, you couldn't choose. His expression suddenly darkened, his hands immediately retracting off of you. "Knife. Or. Rope." He had a serious voice, which scared you. He had just changed on such a whim. You still couldn't choose, stuttering. Daniel got up, walking away to a baseball bat. He walked back, squatting down in front of you. "Tell me." He pressed the bat against your neck "Or I'll break your ankles." He got closer to your face. "Knife. Or. Rope." He growled. "Rope.." You said this without thinking. Oh god, he's gonna hang you! "Good choice!" He switched back to his normal cheery voice, standing up "You get chains instead of ropes, ain't that just wonderful!" Daniel smiled at you. For god's sake. He grabbed the ropes behind your back, dragging you to a corner "Come on, let's get up" Daniel put his hand on your lower abdomen, holding you and helping you to get up. "I'm so proud of you!" He smiled, kissing your cheek and walking to a chair. He got some chains from behind it, walking back. Once he untied you, you wasted no time in punching him in the face and running to the stairs "YOU FUCKING WHORE!" Daniel was enraged, he grabbed the bat, sprinting after you and slamming it against your ankles. You fell onto the stairs, Daniels's hand gripping your leg and dragging you down the stairs. He slammed you onto the floor "I gave you a chance to be good!" He wound the bat back, making you try to crawl back. He put his foot on your left shin "BUT YOU THREW IT IN MY FUCKING FACE!" He shouted, slamming the baseball bat into your left ankle, which made you shriek. "JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE IN MY LIFE" He wound the bat back again, and you braced for impact. "OVER AND OVER" He slammed the bat into your right ankle this time "I GIVE THEM MY TRUST" He slammed the bat into your ankle again "AND- AND THEY JUST THROW IT BACK INTO MY FACE LIKE SOME SORT OF DISPOSABLE." He kept slamming it into your ankle, making you scream. Daniel panted, the bat falling to his side. He just sat down next to you, sniffling. "I'm so sorry... So, so sorry..." He took a deep, shaky breath. "I'm sorry... Please don't hate me..." Daniel lifted you into his arms, holding you "Forgive me..."

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