Abducted (rottmnt fanfic)

Getting There

Leo's pov: 

"We're getting out of this hellhole and away from Splinter. We can better find Donnie without him causing us problems and making us more exhausted." Raph answered bluntly, then left the room. He didn't seem like he was in the mood for a poorly timed joke or to explain himself to me, so I didn't go after him. I just went to look for Mikey, going to his room since it was the first place I'd have expected him. His room was empty, but I soon heard him walk in and he looked at me. 

"Hey, Raph said you'd be looking for me and to let you know he found me first." Mikey sighed softly, he looked like he'd just woken up. "So, is it just me or is Raph not acting like himself right now? I know it's normal when bad things happen to act differently than normal, but this is a little farther than the normal that started since Donnie disappeared..."

"I know, I just don't know what's going on." I admitted, hugging Mikey. "He talked about dad neglecting us and dad yelled at him and called him ungrateful, so he said that he shouldn't be grateful for him forgetting Donnie. I left after that and tuned everything out, so I didn't hear anything else. All I know is that now, I'm not hearing anything from dad and Raph's telling us to leave, saying we're 'getting away from his hellhole' so it'll be easier to find Donnie."

"I think what he's saying is that we're gonna spend more time out looking for Donnie." Mikey shrugged. "I don't know where he's going with all of this though, he keeps changing his mind on what we should and shouldn't be doing with this situation. Nothing feels the same here without Donnie, so it doesn't feel like home anymore. Maybe that's why he called home a hellhole? Everything should go back to normal when we find Donnie, right?" How was I supposed to answer that? I knew nothing would go back to the way it was, Raph had already called dad by his real name, so there was nothing left to fix his and dad's broken relationship. 

"I... I don't know, I gotta be honest with you on that one." I couldn't lie to him about something like that, it wouldn't be fair, but I was going to go back to being the face man. That's what they needed me to be at the moment. "But y'know what? I'm sure everything's gonna be okay, even if it doesn't end up being normal. We'll find Donnie and we'll make sure everything gets okay again. But we gotta also make sure we're okay, got it?"

"Got it." Mikey nodded, he hadn't let me go since we'd started hugging. "But... Raph's face had a red mark on it, did you hear something? Did... did dad hit him again?"

"Knowing dad? Probably." I hated when I had to pretend like that part of our father son relationship was normal, what else could we all do? "They were both mad at each other, so maybe Raph hit him first though, that'd be cool to see." I faked a laugh. I didn't really want Raph to hit dad, but acting like it was something to be positive about felt natural.

"No it wouldn't..." Mikey buried his face into me, he was trying not to cry and I could tell. "Everything's going wrong! I can't help anyone anymore and I don't know why! I'm supposed to be the guy who fixes the emotions, I'm supposed to be Dr. Feelings, but I can't do it! I can't find Donnie, I can't work hard enough to make you happy with me, I can't do enough to take all that weight off of Raph's shoulders, and I can't even do good enough for myself anymore! I can't even take care of myself right, and I used to be the only one of us that could even do that!" he couldn't hold back the tears anymore, he broke down in my arms. 

"Mikey..." It hurt to see him like that, I didn't know it was that bad for him. "I'm sorry you feel like that, I know it hurts and I know it's hard right now."

"At least you guys still have hope!" Mikey got a bit louder, he sounded angry with himself. "I'm so pathetic, I can't even do that! I think Donnie's dead and I think I'll never see him again but I know it's messed up to think like that, so I try to think like you guys, I keep looking when I don't think he'll even be there, but no matter how hard I try, I can't imagine seeing him come back! I can't imagine him being gone, but I can't imagine him being alive either! I don't want it to be like this but I can't control it! I wish I was like you two, always thinking that everything's gonna work out and just being able to be so determined, but I'm not! I'm just Mikey, the little brother that can't do anything right so he had to compensate by being the emotional support until he lost that ability too!" He thought about himself that way? That wasn't healthy, I needed to talk to him about it.