Chapter 100

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I found myself in the courtyard, hugging myself and finding it hard to catch my breath. I needed space to think and a part of me wished Harry wasn't as close as he was right now. Or that Meredith chick. The other part of me was wondering if I was ever going to be good enough or interesting enough for Harry. My life was simple and quiet and I didn't have complications. I had a great family and wonderful friends and a career I was proud to call my own. I instantly felt so homesick. I missed my apartment and my room and my parents. I even missed the noisy, crowded streets of New York. But was this enough for Harry? Did he want that fast paced jet set life? Did I want that? I knew I would let my job take me anywhere but I wanted to come home to a space my own. I never cared for a life with anyone else. Of course, Harry changed that but would a girl who enjoyed work and reading and writing be the one he eventually settled down with? My head was spinning with my uncertainties but I needed to get back. I took a deep breath and turned to walk back. I found Maddy and the rest of the crew in a different ballroom that was set up with four chairs and a backdrop with One Direction's most recent band logo. I didn't see any of the members which I was thankful for right now.


"Hey, you alright? Marc and George are cool. They understand you two hadn't seen each other in a while. It happens."


I went to say something but I was cut off by the side door opening and in walked the four boys and their crew. I spotted the long blonde hair of Meredith's trailing behind them which made my cheeks flush. I took a breath to calm myself. I trusted Harry even with the thoughts swirling around my head. I stayed where I was and looked down at my feet. God, I felt like I was 16 again with a crush on the quarterback but I already had the quarterback. The next few hours I watched as one of the M&G interviewers asked the four members various questions. They were cracking jokes and making fun of the other. Everyone would laugh and I wished I was in the mood to laugh right now. I sort of spaced out from the interview and felt my eyes get heavy. I was instantly taken over by some kind of weird out of body experience. My cheeks got very hot and I felt the blood rushing to my head. I was dizzy and I grabbed on to the light stand next to me. My legs felt like jello but as soon as it came, it went away. I looked around hoping no one noticed and thankfully everyone was focused on the interview.


I felt someone touched my arm from behind me and quickly turned to see Marc. He was beckoning me out of the room.


"Hey, listen, I need you to take these and see which ones are blank. We have to send snips back to New York to accompany the press release," said Marc, handing me a box full of USBs.


"Can't we just email attachments?"


"Yes, but we need hard copies in case the technology fails and that is where you come in," he said, smiling. I gave him a small smile back and took the USBs. I didn't mind the mundane work. My head hurt and I wanted to get away from the bright lights. I went back to the room Harry and I were sharing and found my MacBook. I sat down at one of the arm chairs opposite the bedroom. It was facing the view of Ireland and it was gorgeous. I was captivated by the hills but I brought my attention back to my task. Halfway through, I got up and headed to the bathroom. It was huge. As I was washing my hands, the mirror caught my eye. God, I looked like shit. My hair was flat on top of my head and my eyes were red and swollen. I looked pale and gross. I quickly shut off the light and got back to work. Finally after the millionth blank USB, I was done. I put them back in the box I was given and went to find Marc. The castle was deserted. How long was I up there? I spotted a huge clock on the wall and saw that it was almost 9:30 PM. It wasn't that late but I left the USBs with the front desk and went back to the room. I sat back down in the chair and rubbed my eyes. I was exhausted. I grabbed my phone and texted Harry asking him where he was but before I could even wait for a response, I was out.


It felt like I hadn't even slept, when I heard rustling from across the room. I then heard a loud thump, as if someone had tripped and fallen. I immediately thought someone had broken into my apartment, when I realized I was not in New York and not in my apartment. I jumped up and heard Harry's familiar laugh. I took a breath and went towards his laughing but halted when I heard another laugh. A girl's laugh.


"Holy shit, Harry. You are plastered!" I heard, the unfamiliar girl say. She had an English accent and it took all of me not to start yelling. I flipped on a light to find the two of them tangled on the floor. They both looked at me and stopped laughing.


"Oh, hello. I am Meredith. Harry has told me so much about you! Apologies for being so loud. Harry and I had a bit to drink tonight," said Meredith.


Why was it always blonde model type girls? I didn't say anything but looked over at Harry who was still laughing. "Love, I've missed you! Where have you been all day? See, isn't she so pretty, Mer?"


The blonde nodded and picked herself up off the floor. She fixed her thigh high boots and adjusted her long hair. "Well, I am going to get some rest. I'll see you both in the morning! Nice to meet you, Rowan," she said, waving and shutting the door behind her. With one quick pull, I was on the ground with Harry. He smelled like alcohol and smoke as he pulled me into his arms.


"Really, love, where have you been all day?"


I decided now wasn't the time to indulge Harry on whatever was going on in my head. "Working, Harry. But I missed you."


"I missed you more," he said, nuzzling into my neck. I heard Harry's soft snoring and moved to get him up.


"Come on babe, let's get into bed."


He thankfully moved and we both undressed and got into bed. Exhaustion hit me again and I fell back asleep but not before I set my alarm for 6 AM to shower and not be late.


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