I'm not just your boy toy (old version)

13-Confusing feelings

13-Confusing feelings

Brandon's pov

I've been so confused those past few days. Not only because Garrett did a surprise birthday party for me but it's more than that.

I'm still surprised that he actually did that. I never celebrated my birthday, at least not since I was a child. So the other day was completely new. It was nice and simple. Fun and even his gift too...I liked it very much...Yeah too much!

We had sex as usual but his gift consisted of a sexy outfit, like real sexy it made me painfully hard in under 30 seconds.

Through as we did it, it was different, yeah maybe his gift changed things but it just wasn't the same. I did some things I wouldn't have usually done before and that makes me slightly confused.

I'm the master of sex but never has it been more than sex.

Though as special as my night on my birthday was, I had to go back to reality so I didn't dare to do all that again.

Another thing that I don't understand is that he seems to care a lot about me and I don't know what to think of that.

I like to think he does too much but he seems to enjoy it. I thought he wasn't one for surprises but he showed me the opposite.

All that makes me confused. From my actions to his actions, maybe just Garrett overall and I don't like feeling lost in my thoughts! I like living life as if there aren't any problems! Freely!

Gosh, he's just here to have sex but here he is doing all that for me...I never thought he would go to such length.

What makes it even more confusing is that he's been making me feel in certain ways I've never felt before. I don't know how to explain it. I like unpredictable things but...this is too much unpredictable.

Those feelings...Gosh, I don't know what to make of them. I'll admit Garrett means a lot more to me than he should. He's no longer just a guy I have sex with. He's the guy I see every single day in my life. We basically share apartments. We eat together and so much more.

Even if it's that, I'll admit it's weird at this point, though I would do anything for sex.

Regardless of my confusion over everything, there's one thing I clearly don't like. He's been annoying me with this therapy thing. I'm not a sick person! I'm fine. Gosh, sometimes I think he pities me, I don't want him to pity me.

He keeps saying my life isn't normal but is it through? It's not like I care. I have fun. It already changed a lot since he arrived in my life...Gosh, this feels so romantic...Ugh, romantic.

I think I haven't done one of those in a long time. I just have sex all the time. Relationships suck and besides it's too much commitment. I'm a free man! I don't want to be held to a wife and have kids, then, I wouldn't have a life. Ok, maybe a husband but still, it sounds so boring.

That's what scares me, Garrett wants that, at least I think he does. His family surely wanted that...Gosh, why am I thinking about that and letting myself be confused by all of this? He's just my sex buddy, nothing more.

———————

Before Garrett left he proposed something and I'm quite surprised by what he asked. It's Saturday today and I was getting ready to get to work like I usually do before he mentioned something about going out.

He somehow convinced me. He knows I couldn't say no to that even if I don't like the aspect of going out like that. Just the way he said it made me curious and then I was in his plan.