I'm not just your boy toy (old version)

15-Denial

15-Denial

Brandon's pov

This past week has been pretty...much hell.

I'm still not over what happened last week. Everything was going well between Garrett and me, then he suddenly asks us to take a break.

As much as I hate doing this, I've been trying to understand what went wrong. I know I f**ked up but he always remained with me. I just assumed everything was back to normal.

Usually, I don't care about such stuff as I'm only looking for pleasure through sex but...Ugh no, I have to stop thinking about that!

I haven't seen him since and I haven't been coping greatly. Losing my source of pleasure has been pure hell.

Going from seeing him every day to just plain nothing, I'll admit it's a big deal. It feels so strange not having his presence anymore. Ugh, I got used to it. This is exactly why I never get myself into this kind of mess. I get attached to them and then it's hard to lose them. This is exactly what happened with Garrett.

This past week, I couldn't help but think about him. It just feels so empty and I don't like it but even if it's that, I can't just call him back and admit such a thing. He's the one that ran away, it's over between us and I have to accept that. It wasn't gonna last and I should have known that.

Regarding what I do with my sexual desires, well it's been hard getting used to not having someone next to me that can get me some pleasure. I tried times and times again to jerk off just at the mere thought of him but it didn't work. Even porn doesn't work. My body only wants his...as embarrassing as it is.

I feel so sexually deprived it's ridiculous. It's pure torture. I really want to get laid but every time I try to find someone else his words haunt me, it refrains me from doing as I wanted. He said he doesn't me to find someone else.

Why? Weren't we just fuck buddies? It's not like we were in a relationship...Relationship...
Gosh, this is a word I don't like. I like being set free but maybe that's what bothered him? No! Gosh, I have to stop thinking about him. It's over! Over!

It doesn't matter what he wants, I don't have time to deal with what he thinks or wants or whatever. Ugh...Why am I still thinking about him? Why is he on my mind all the time? I won't see him ever again.

That's it I'm going to the bar. It's Friday and that means Brent is there. I'm definitely going.

Thankfully, I already ate an already-made sandwich I had bought at work. Wow...it's nothing compared to before. I used to have good meals. I miss eating what Garrett makes...Snap out of it! He's gone and it's over!

I go down the stairs of my apartment and start walking to the bar. Gosh, I also got used to being driven around everywhere. Did we really spend that much time together? Stop thinking about him!

After 10 minutes or so, I arrive. I open the door and I'm met by flashing lights and full of people dancing. Lots of them look at me interested in me and some of them even seem to recognize me. Well, I have quite the reputation here.

Anyways, normally this would turn me on but it doesn't...Strange...

Now that I think about it, things changed a lot in two months. Before I used to come here and get myself the first interesting guy I see but now I don't...I even used to go to the bar every single day and fucked a new guy all the time. Now I just go from time to time to see Brent. Wow...Garrett really changed everything. Ugh! Why can't he get out of my mind?!

To change my mind, I get to the bar stool where Brent is and sit down there. He notices me.

"Hey, Bran! You're not with your man?"