I'm not just your boy toy (old version)

19 (2/2)-Major changes

19 (2/2)-Major changes

Brandon's pov

We are now almost a full week into July and so it means it's been a few days since our deep talk. Surprisingly, Garrett never mentioned it again.

It's not like we stopped talking to each other, of course not, we're still together all the time mostly at his apartment, as I'm starting to flee mine for some reason and we do our usual activity. Through, it's like he pretends our deep talk never happened.

I for sure know it certainly happened. Talking about it out loud made me realize things I never thought of before or at least things that weren't clear.

There's no point denying nowadays that what I feel for Garrett is so much deeper than I first thought.

It's not about being attracted to him, it's more than that. Everything has been becoming clearer but I don't know if I want to act on it.

I've never been in such a situation ever, as I always feared for this very moment to happen but now that it's happening...I don't know.

It's unknown waters for me this strong attraction I have for Garrett that's more than just sexual attraction. I can't deny that anymore.

Through, it scares me so much and I hate that such a thing is facing me like that. I'm always confident about everything but when Garrett mentioned dating, marriage and even kids, I became uneasy, which I still am.

Commitment is not something I appreciate, it's exhausting but in a way, I've been committed to whatever we have and that's what scares me. I've fallen into this deep hole of despair all because I let Garrett get under my skin.

I hate showing my real colors and Garrett has seen almost all of it. He's close to cracking me up. That's terrifying. I can't even recall the last time I've shown my real personality. It was so long ago.

On the inside, I've been vulnerable all week long and on the outside, I pretend none of this dilemma is happening by keeping my usual composure and confidence. In a way, I'm doing the same thing as Garrett.

I thought he would mention our talk after we went to his parent's place yesterday to celebrate the 4th of July but he didn't. He was just happy to celebrate and I didn't comment on it.

By the way, his parents weren't nearly as bad as last time. Regarding, Garrett's sister's husband, well..he did some remarks here and there but that's it. I'm not letting him get under my skin ever again. His sister, though, seems to be making an effort exactly as she said she was. She seems to start realizing I'm really not going anywhere.

Regardless of that, I certainly didn't think he would finally mention our deep talk on a Wednesday night when we both had work the next day and after we just had some action going on.

"Brandon..." As we had already gotten to bed he comes closer to me.

"Yeah?"

"I...I want to talk about...last time..."

"Why are you only mentioning it now?"

"I'm sorry I didn't mention it...I thought you wouldn't want to talk about it..."

"Nonsense! You dare make me open up and you pretend it never affected me!" He gets taken off guard by that.

"It affected you?" He says hope in his eyes.

"Stop twisting my words! Just say what you wanted to say beforehand!"

"Oh...um, I actually wanted to make you open up some more...as I opened up a lot last time."