Devin;
A month later;
"Everyone stop looking for her, they started to give up. They thought she would be lost forever, they thought she was either killed off or sold in sex trafficking, but we can't give up, even when the police are," I heard a soft sigh come out of Nubbie's mouth. We hadn't been on the best of terms but we decide not to put our problems on display until we could find Jenny. She was more important than us trying to figure out what this relationship was turning onto.
" I know, but we just have to have hope that we will find her because if we give up then she is better off dead," There was a pause for a moment then we were back to talking like friends again.
"Did- never mind," she said as she hesitated.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Did Terra say anything?" She asked.
"Oh, yeah she just asked if I got any information, other then that, just radio silence,"
"Hmm, I am surprised she still cares about Jenny after all this time, she was the first one she ditched," she said.
"Hey, Nubbie I better go, I don't wanna keep you," I said.
I knew if we kept at this I would start to get comfortable again like we use to and trying my best to get her back. I wasn't over Terra yet and I didn't want to lead Nubbie on, but here I am about to make the biggest mistake of my life. I hung up the phone before she can get out anymore words and turned over to a naked sleeping figure. I push her long hair out of her face. She moved a little in her sleep before comfortable settling again in bed. I know it's wrong of me but at the end I couldn't help it.
The night was a blur. I went to a hotel to give Sobah some space with his new girlfriend. I was happy for him. He needed this more than me. He is a good guy, she was a beautiful girl. Tall, slim but athletic, mid length black hair with pink dyed hair and freckles. She reminded me a lot of Jenny, but her eyes weren't as doe-like as hers. He asked for two nights by himself so he and her can have "special time" then he will be gone on a four day trip with her after that.
I arrived at Hotel Park Hyatt, a small bag in hand and cell phone. I didn't take my car I decided it wasn't needed since I would have everything I need at the hotel and taxis aren't too bad for transportation. I checked in a the receptionist desk, I showed them the usual my passport for ID and gave them my card information. Once I got my key card I planned to adventure to my room before a pair of legs caught my attention at the dinning hall across the room.
I normally wouldn't care about women body parts until I saw a familiar tattoo. A giant snake wrapped around a rose with romanic numbers. I tried to quickly race to the elevator so she wouldn't see me but she was quicker, I felt a small hand grab the sleeve of my shirt.
"Devin, can we talk?" Her voice came out softly and broken.
I shrugged her hand away and press the button on the elevator. "Why? So you can accuse me of more hideous stuff? Or run and tell your parents to shun me? Or keep me away from your brother and sister who I adore? What could we possibly have to talk about Terra?" I asked.
I didn't face her as I said these things. The thought of her seeing the hurt in my eyes were enough to anger me the same as when we got divorced one year, six months, and 14 days ago. "Please Devin," she pleaded.
When the elevator's doors open I walked inside ignoring her. She followed. That is one thing I use to hate about her when we argued. She followed, she either demanded an answer, or she was stone cold with me. We never fix our problems that way.
"I broke up with him," she said quietly.
"Congratulations, I am not going to be your rebound," I shot back.
"That is not what I am asking of you Devin," she said.
"Then what is it you are asking of me?" I seethed.
"Can we just talk? We haven't talked since the divorce, I didn't want that Dev," she said as she looked down at her feet.
"Don't Dev me, don't act like you care, you made me out to seem like I abused you to the world, I took that, when you showed your ass at my job and made me loose a multi million contract and all my friends and clients, I took that, when your mother and father called me and cussed me out and threaten to kill me if they every see me again for hurting you, I took that, when you took my name off the house and decided to sell it without telling me, I took that, got a new boyfriend who you claim to be good with and was going to marry, I took that,"
I didn't want to deal with this conversation. I didn't want to be in a closed room with her and deal with these emotions. I tried to breathe to calm my racing heart. The anger was starting to turn into Anixety. She knew this about me. When we would argue she knew I wasn't good with confrontation so she would push buttons and over talk me and get into my face until I would break.
The elevator ding and the doors open I took the opportunity to quickly leave. I searched for my room as her heels clicked behind me from a distant. She wasn't going to let this go. I found my room and scanned my card. I rushed inside and slammed the door in her face. "Go away Terra!" I screamed through the door.
"Please Devin, I know what I did was horrible, you are absolutely right, I wasn't a good wife, please just talk to me I wanna give you closure, I don't want you to hurt anymore because of me, Dev, I need you... I am scared I don't have anymore friends and my only real friend is missing, please," she cried.
I leaned my back again the door, tears rolling down my eyes. I want this closure but I don't want it from her, I want it from myself, to forgive myself for being so dumb to stay four years with her. Some part of me misses her like crazy, but the other part was repulsed by her and I didn't know which one was stronger. "Terra go away," I wheezed as my chest tightened.
"Devin, let me in, at least don't be alone with your Anixety attack, please let me make sure you are okay, we don't have to talk after, I will leave if you want me too... Please Devin," I heard her say.
I debated but I needed someone with me just in case I pass out. I open the door and she rushed in. I fell forward into her arms and she caught me. She laid me on the ground softly while supporting my head on her legs. I was hyperventilating and my heart felt like it was going to burst because of how fast it was going, my chest hurts and my eyes sting from crying. I felt like I was dying and I couldn't do anything but panic in my mind.
You're not good enough!
She doesn't want you!
She doesn't need you!
She'll use you again!
She'll hurt you again!
You are unworthy!
Useless!
Stupid!
Die!
Die!
Die!
What about Nubbie?
Hi Baddies I am back. Sorry for the long awaited update, I took A lot of time to think of how I want this story to slowly end. No this is not the ending chapter, but I wanted to include this scene since the beginning. This chapter will be a two part. I hope you enjoy and I will fix any grammar mistakes and timelines once this is finish. I have also been doing good, just very busy running a business and trying to find time to write. I love you guys and if you need anyone to talk to I am available. I don't want to hear another breaking case as Moonbin, please be there for your love ones and yourself. You are important and loved by me and others. Support each other please. Also comment, vote, and share. Thank you. ~TB
