Never ownED myself

Fog

"No matter how bad a state of mind you may get into, if you keep strong and hold out, eventually the floating clouds must vanish and the withering wind must cease".  Zen Master Dogen

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In a darker room, moisture covers the perfectly carved stone walls. A man lies in the lonely metal bed. In the next room, separated by another stone wall, were high-tech machines. A sleepy man sat on a chair facing a screen where the man lay.

His heart beat, which had been slow, became faster. His eyelids moved, his ears pricked up until they caught the man's steady breathing as he disregarded his duties. Damon sat on the bed and craned his neck. He smiled. No pain. He was completely healed. He didn't need to continue his examination. It wasn't his first round, after all. He was tortured and beaten. They played games to break his mind and gather information. Information he couldn't give them because his memories were locked with a spell that needed to be spoken in the perfect tone to unlock his memories. Without it, his mind was foggy and labyrinthine. A maze that Davon hadn't been able to decipher in so many years.

His ears pricked, someone was coming. Damon slipped back into a resting position, body going loose in the practiced imitation of sleep.

We will see her soon, his wolf murmured in his mind, the voice thrumming with anticipation.

Yes... we'll see her, Damon answered, though a bitter edge curled through him, or whatever this mirage manages to stitch together from what's left of her in our mind.

His saliva turned sour at the thought. The illusion might heal his wolf, but it was slowly eroding what remained of his human will.

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◁◁ ▐ ▌(Flashback) ◁◁ ▐ ▌
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After the king asked Damon to return through the portal, he became an ambassador between realms. He studied the humans and searched for answers among them, but there was only so much he could learn. His time there was limited. His wolf grew increasingly restless without their mate. He endangered the fragile balance that kept peace between the the human side and his animalistic behavior.

In only a short window, Damon gathered what he needed and hired humans to build the machinery for the Wolf Realm. When he finally returned, he came face to face with a king who looked far older than when he had left. The once-dark hair was now white, wrinkles framing his grayish obsidian eyes, and every movement carried a weight that had not been there before. The aging was too quick. Too sudden. Even after losing his mate in childbirth, after losing both her and her wolf, the king had found the strength to survive. But now his wolf was fading. Why?

The council chamber remained unchanged. Damon glanced at the gathered subjects. No one looked surprised. No one looked alarmed. But they should have been. Something had happened in his absence. His heart tightened for the man who had believed in him when he was nothing. When he'd worn rags and had barely any flesh over his bones...but it wasn't the right time or place.

"My liege, things would go faster if I could take my mate with me. My wolf doesn't let me work or think as I should. I could be more efficient with my mate by my side." Damon kept his tone respectful, fully aware he was pushing his luck. The king's son would never allow her to leave.

"What do you suggest? Bring your wife there? It's not a woman's place. It's a man's job!" Davon cut in sharply. For some reason, the restraint he once had was long gone.

Damon glanced toward the king, searching for any sign of objection, but the king didn't react. Had he even heard? His expression was distant, eyes wary, as if his thoughts were far from the chamber. "My lord, I dare not ask my wife to do my deeds. Even if I wished it, the bond between us and the goddesses wishes prevents me from staying away for too long."