Guilty

Juliette

"I don't suppose you could just cancel?" I ask, sighing. I might as well be talking to a brick wall. It would be more likely to give me the response I want. 

"Well baby you're in America, and I'm back home in London. That's a long way to fly out. And I just booked a cruise for the next week that I need to prep for." My mother tells me. 

"Why would you book a cruise if you knew you were meant to fly out and see me?" 

"I didn't know you wanted to see me that bad sweetheart."

"Didn't know-" I stop myself before I say something I know I'll regret. There is no point fighting with her about this, it'll all fall on deaf ears. 

My mother's been through a lot, she had me young and my dad wasn't exactly the best man I know. Well I barely knew him, he was a drunk and left my mother alone to raise me when I was only five. I stopped missing him when I was eight. 

I'd do anything to make my mum happy, most of the time it means leaving her alone. I'm not sure she wanted to be a mother. Today, I have to pretend her choosing to go on holiday instead of spending Thanksgiving break with me doesn't break my heart. I don't doubt my mother loves me, but I don't think she likes me very much.

"I just wanted to see you," I say quietly.

"I'll send a turkey" she laughs down the line. "Well I better go, bye sweetness," she coos before hanging up.

I sigh before curling up into a small ball on the library sofa. I flex my hands in my lap as a tingling sensation comes over my fingers and lips. I take a deep breath, my breath feels short and strained. I close my eyes briefly, trying to push away the strange sensations overcoming my body. 

I stand, shakily, and push open the window behind me. It's boiling and my skin feels hot to the touch. 

"Hey, what are you doing? It's the middle of November and freezing," A guy calls out, he walks over to me and shuts the window. 

"Could you leave it open a second? I'm really hot," I say, curling my hands into fists in a pointless attempt to gain some control and sensation back into my fingers.

"Oh, are you? Go stand outside," He says harshly. 

"Back off, Callum." A voice says, I turn my head to see Zane giving the guy a dark look. Callum sighs and then walks back to the computer he was working from. 

"What's the matter with you? You've gone pale." Zane asks me, his voice is flat and his face is neutral. 

"Nothing, I'm just warm. I think I'm just going to go outside." I say, grabbing my bag and walking outside, the cold air soothes me a little bit. 

Zane falls into step next to me, I don't say anything to him and he does not attempt to speak to me. We walk in silence across campus until we're outside my door. 

"Feel better?" He asks. 

I nod, rubbing my eyes a little as I unlock my door. Zane glances around inside my room before turning to leave. I sigh, stepping inside my dorm room. 

He's still angry at me, understandably, but not pissed enough to not look out for me. That's something, right? 

The door shuts behind me and I blink quickly, everything's going fuzzy. I take a few steps forward before everything goes black and I feel myself fall backwards.