Guilty

Juliette

"Oh wow. God has finally answered all my wishes and my prayers," Emery yells excitedly as I tell her my terrible news.

"Prayers?" I screech at her, grabbing a pillow from my bed and flinging it at her aggressively.

She dodges it easily, dancing around my room with delight. 

"I always knew something like this would happen, I mean realistically it was going to happen. The line between hate and love is oh so very thin," she coos at me her blonde curls bouncing with every step she takes. 

The day I ever catch myself falling in love with Zane Ivory I'd like to be shot in the head, almost immediately. Or hung for blasphemy. 

"I'd like for you to leave my dorm room and I'd like for you to take a terrible fall down the stairs located to our right. " I hiss at her. 

She blows me kisses and bats her eyelashes at me, in the light streaming in from the window her amber eyes look almost golden. 

"You'd die of boredom in this school without me," Emery pouts. 

"I have other friends," I say. 

"I suppose you wouldn't need them with Zane keeping you company...when he's inside-" 

"GET. OUT." I shriek.

She laughs loudly before leaving my room.

I flop onto my bed groaning, I can barely stand sitting next to Zane in my classes, but a project this big? We'd have to meet outside of classes, on the weekends even. 

I could ask my professor to change partners but quite frankly I don't want to be whiny. It could be worse, I have no idea how but it could be. 

I allow myself to fall into a restless sleep, my dreams troubled with men sent up from hell. 

When I open my eyes again, I look at my phone and see it's three in the morning. I need to pee immediately. 

I drag myself out of bed, slipping into my dinosaur slippers as I walk into the hallway. I shiver a little in my shorts and t-shirt as I sleepily walk down the halls to the girl's bathroom. 

A door opens to my right and I turn at the sound to see Zane stepping out, a smirk on his face as he shuts the door behind him. 

My eyes roll so far back that I can see my brain. He doesn't even notice me standing there until he almost walks into me.

"Move it," I say, pushing him aside. He turns around quickly, his eyes almost black before he relaxes upon noticing it's me. His fist was clenched like he was prepared to attack me.

"What are you doing on this floor? It's meant to be for girls only so we don't have to see the likes of you in the middle of the night." I ask him, accusingly.

"Didn't realise you were the hall monitor," He fires back smugly.

I glance at the room number and almost scream, "Penny's room?" I whisper and shriek. "You little rat, you were sleeping with the judge of our case? No wonder you won. I cannot believe you." 

Now I do want to smack him. 

"Will you calm down, we hooked up after the trial. I don't mix business and pleasure. Now stop having a tantrum because I beat you. I'm sure you'll return the favour in a week," he says exasperated.

I cross my arms, my eyes narrowing at him,  "I cannot imagine the number of STDs you must carry.'' 

"I actually won't let someone in dinosaur slippers judge me, sexually," he scoffs.

Spoken like someone with no taste.

"I could be dressed up as a headless chicken and still know more about sex than you."

"Spoken like a true virgin," he says sweetly.

"There's nothing wrong about being a virgin, prick. Can't all lose our virginity at twelve." 

"And a half, your day will come, Mother Teresa," Zane replies. 

"Whatever, my day already came when I was eighteen." 

His smile drops, "Who?"

I look around nervously, it's not like it went extremely bad it was fine...good even. I'm just not entirely sure why I'm talking about my sexual history with Zane. Or how we even got to this point.

Oh, wait he was slut.

"Max Danvers," I say. 

"Bullshit," he says almost immediately, my cheeks redden in response and I'm grateful it's dark enough he can't tell.

"Why? Hard to believe he would like me?" I ask angrily.

"Hard to believe you would like someone like that," Zane says. 

"You don't have to love someone to have sex with them. The biggest slut on campus should know that." 

"Why are you lurking in this hallway?" he asks, changing the subject.

"I was going to the bathroom. A place I am still going to."

"You have fun, trouble, don't trip on those slippers."

I flip him off as I walk inside, hating the nickname. 

When I come out he's gone and I quickly walk back to my dorm. Falling asleep almost immediately. Talking to Zane is exhausting after all. 

************************************************************

I walk towards the campus library quickly, I have a test next week and, as always, I am determined to get a higher score than Zane.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I see my mother calling me. I sigh and answer, "Mum!"

"Hello, sweetie, did you get my payment?"

"Yes I did thank you, but you don't have to pay me every week I have my own money saved from the summer jobs."

"Nonsense that's what a mother does to support her children's dreams," she says kindly.

I feel a pang in my chest. It's a nice thing to say, but I'd settle for seeing her over receiving weekly payments from her. 

"Speaking of that, do I need to remind you that we're still on for Wednesday?"

Silence rings on her side of the phone, I feel my already weak heart break for the hundredth time.

"I'm sorry honey I forgot and made plans I can't possibly cancel on them."

"That's fine," I say quietly and hang up quickly.

I have lived a lifetime having a mother who doesn't show up for me, not when it truly matters anyhow. 

I walk inside the building rubbing my eyes furiously.

My eyes catch on Zane speaking to a girl at the same table as him. I make sure to get a table as far away from him as possible.

I just need to focus. 

And try not to let my disappointment distract me, I'm sure I will let Emery convince me to go out tonight.