Guilty

Zane

I bang loudly on Josh's door as I pace, waiting for him to open it. After a few seconds, he opens the door, looking slightly concerned. I shove past him and walk inside, raking a hand through my hair. 

"Nice to see you too, what's wrong?" He asks me, as I immediately head towards his bar cart. Walking around, I don't miss the lavishly decorated apartment on the Upper East Side. I know Josh told me he worked in finance, but I had no idea it paid this well. I made a mental note to ask him about it at a later time, I had other pressing matters. 

"Tell Emery to find a new Maid of Honour or you're going to have to find yourself a new best man," I tell, downing the whiskey I poured myself in seconds. 

He makes a face at me like I'm joking.  I am so very far from joking. 

"What the hell happened?" He asks me, walking over and prying the glass from my hands. 

"I bumped into Juliette while I was checking out the neighbourhood. She's worse than I thought. She's judgemental and rude and she's..." I trail off as I search for other words to describe her. 

"And she's pretty and she's all grown up and she's funny..." Josh says, doing a poor job of mimicking my voice as he sits down on his couch. 

I look out of the window, holding my breath as I think back to Juliette. God, I didn't even know how to describe the way she looked. Pretty seems like such a common adjective, too simple to be able to convey her appearance. 

She was radiant, like the sun and beautiful like the night sky. 

I wondered what I looked like in her eyes if she was able to see anything past all the anger and hurt that still lingered between us. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked Josh, turning to look at him. 

He frowns at me and shrugs, "Tell you what Zane?" 

"That she was like that," I say to him, my voice soft. 

Juliette Castalia was proof that God answered prayers. 

Only, he had delivered her to me far too late. 

"Like what? I don't look at her the way you do, I never did, she's just Juliette who comes over to steal our sugar or who gets Emery far too drunk on a random weekday. I don't have a panic attack when I see her." 

It's strange to think that Josh knows the intimate details of her life when I don't. I hardly know anything about her, and he knows everything. What time she goes to work, he knows the struggles she's had to endure over the years. And I know nothing. 

She's just a memory. 

"I can't spend every day with her," I warn him. 

"You don't have to, you have to go to a fitting with her and get the cake with her and then go to the wedding with her and then you won't see her again for another three years," He says, flashing a sly grin. 

I wrinkle my nose at him, "What the fuck is happening in three years?" 

He laughs, "Emery and I plan on having kids and I expect you to get your ass on a plane and come to the baby shower, and no doubt she will be there too. Then there are future events too like meeting the kid and-"

I silence him with a loud groan, "Why did you have to fall so desperately in love with her best friend?" 

"Why did you have to have shit communication with her?" He fires back. I bite my tongue. He's wrong and right at the same time. The dead body I disposed of for her was the main reason we parted ways but then again, it was due to a lack of communication.