Guilty

Zane

"It's for the best, she was a distraction, Zane. Now that you're done with her you can focus on what's important; Winning," Jackson tells me, handing me a bottle of water as I sit on the bench. 

"She's done with me, I'm not done with her," I grumble. Sipping the water, I try not to think about Juliette. Or the sex. 

Fuck, the sex. 

"I'm telling you, bro, women are like...sirens or something. You don't need that in your life. You could get any girl you want you know? You just got to start hooking up with the masses again and then you can forget about that girl," Jackson says. His tone is harsh and angry but I try to see his point. 

I had been distracted in my matches recently because of Juliette. It's not like I was losing but I was taking some serious beatings before I won. One of these days I'd get knocked out and I wouldn't be getting up again. And Cole had warned me if he had to dispose of another dead body he'd lose his mind. 

"You're only saying that because your girlfriend left your ass for some Russian," Marcus says with a smirk. He's one of my closest friends out of the guys here at the ring. He's a bit unhinged but he's nice if you can be bothered to get to know him. 

And he does not like Jackson. 

"Watch your mouth," Jackson warns him. 

I sigh, rubbing my eyes, "I don't want random hookups. What's the point? I feel good for the hour it lasts and then I'm back to feeling like this." 

Besides, that was all before I'd slept with Juliette. No girl was going to compare to that, to her or how good she felt. 

Jackson scowls and looks away, "I don't understand getting so worked up over this, she's just a fucking girl. There's millions of them." 

"Tell that to Anastasia, oh wait you can't because she's blocked you-" 

"I will break your fucking neck and not bother to flinch," Jackson warns. I stand up and separate the two.

 It's like dealing with fucking toddlers. Either way, Jackson was all bark no bite. He was our coach's son but he didn't fight, he couldn't. He never learned how to do it properly or how to cater to the audience who was watching him. Jackson said he didn't care but I was pretty sure he was somewhat pissed about it. 

Marcus however, was all bite. He'd break Jackson's neck without flinching. He'd even dispose of his body like he's had to do for me once...to twice.

None of this mattered anyway, it wasn't helping me feel any better. Or helping me forget Juliette. 

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"Juliette," I call out. She stops in front of me and slowly turns around. As she does the sun seems to move to light her up. Juliette did remind me of the sun in a way, she was warm and bright. Impossible to miss, impossible not to stare out. But the closer you got...the more likely you were to burn. 

"What do you want?" She asks me, looking at the floor. I try to keep my voice even. 

"I interviewed with Sam yesterday..." She looks up as I trail off. I swallow, "He doesn't meet the description Lana described. And yes he does have multiple character witnesses but he didn't want to use them. He was just confused the whole time, I don't think he raped her." 

Juliette purses her lips, "Okay then. I can't defend her, if you'd like to then I can give you all my notes and-" 

"I'm not doing this case if you aren't," I say to her. She nods and then turns around to walk off. I catch up to her, "Can we just talk?" 

"I'm not interested in what you have to say," She says, flatly. 

"I didn't tell you everything because I didn't want to scare you, I knew you'd run off like this and I was right. That's the only reason I lied to you," I tell her in earnest. 

Juliette's eyes harden and I try not to take a step back. 

Fuck, she's terrifying, "You shouldn't be studying the law while also revelling in the fact you're breaking it. And I don't care about your boxing club hobbies I care that you lied to me. You had an opening Zane, to tell me the truth. And instead, you chose to lie to me. You can say whatever you want to defend the lies you told but it doesn't matter. You lied. And I hate liars," She says, her voice is ice cold. Void of all emotion, in a way that was worse. 

I wanted her to scream or yell or argue back with me but she didn't. This whole situation was so beneath her that she couldn't even be bothered to fight with me about it. 

"I'm sorry," I tell her. "I shouldn't have lied." 

"Will you stop? Fighting?" She asks and I pause. I won't feed her another lie, not after all of this. But I'm worried about what the truth will do to our odds of fixing this. 

"I don't know if I can," I admit. 

Juliette stares at me, "I understand." 

"Can we please just-" 

"You can't have it both ways, Zane. You can't fight to put people in jail when you should be in the damn cell with them."  

She turns on her heel and walks off, inside her building. I rub my eyes and dig out a cigarette from my pack at the bottom of my bag. I hadn't smoked in two months, not since she'd asked me to stop. No point in that anymore. 

I dug out my cell phone and called Coach, "She still wants nothing to do with me," I told him. I'd told Cole about Juliette, he was like a father to me. He'd heard me going on about her since I started fighting for him. Even he had told me to leave Juliette the fuck alone. 

"What's she more mad about eh? That you beat the crap out of people or that you lied to her about it?" He asks me and I sigh, taking a long drag of my cigarette. 

"That I lied I think." 

"Well, can't help you there, son."

"I just want to protect her, keep her safe from all the darkness in this world. I just want to fix things for her," I say, blowing out cigarette smoke. 

"She ain't a broken doll, she doesn't need you fixing things for her Zane. Stop trying to fix everything, that's your issue. And if you wanted to protect her from the dark shit that means protecting her from you. So what do you need eh? I got a bunch of girls who are obsessed with you that you could see..." 

"I want a fight. I want a shit ton of fights. And bet a lot of money on me coach, 'cause I ain't fucking losing."