Fields of Gold; Daniel Ricciardo

Looking back

As I'm looking out over the horse paddock where I see Rain calmly eating her hay, her latest foal sleeping next to her, I sigh.
I'm sitting on the porch in a rocking chair, the ones Daniel and I always talked about. We would be sitting here when we were old and gray. Looking over our land, our fields of gold.
It's been a year since the Christmas in the UK with Lewis and Bri. A year since there were two police officers standing in front of the door, bringing devastating news.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and when I look up I see Lewis standing next to me.
We just give each other a sad smile, he sits down next to me without saying a word. Both just lost in our own memories.
My mind goes back to that moment, the moment everything changed for us.

One year ago:
"Please no." I cry as my legs give in under me. Lewis just manages to catch me before I hit the wooden floor of the hallway.
Subconsciously I hear a car door being thrown shut.
There's a figure running towards us, but through my tears I don't see who it is.

"Skylar! Baby!"
I know that voice, I know that Australian accent.
"Daniel? Oh my god Daniel!"
He pushes away the cops and I manage to fall into his arms. Sobbing as I only just thought I was about to hear he was gone. But he's here, his arms are around me and he feels very real and alive.

Then I feel his body shaking from his sobbing and I get struck by a realization.
Daniel is here...and those officers...but not Bri.
I peel myself out of Daniels arms and look back at Lewis who has gone pale. Even though he has a darker skin complexion I can see the blood has drained from his face.
"May we come in please?" The taller officer asks.
Lewis slowly nods, as if he's only doing that because he knows he should. But it's only his body standing there, it feels like his soul has left and it's just a shell.

The five of us make our way to the living room, one of the officers stands besides his colleague who sat down in a chair.
The three of us sit on the couch, I place myself in between Lewis and Daniel whose hand I'm still holding. It's like I'm reassuring myself that he is actually here. My other hand grabs Lewis. There's nothing I can do to ease this blow, but at least he's not alone.
I already know what the two man are going to say, Bri is not coming home. She's never coming home again.

"As we said there was an accident at the Tesco parking lot. A drunk driver was passing by and he lost control over his car. He drove into the parking lot where he hit several people who were walking there. One of them being your wife Mr Hamilton. We are very sorry to say, that she didn't make it."

I hear Lewis swallow hard, when I look at him there's only a single tear going down his face.
Tears are running down mine, but inside I feel numb.
"We understand how heart breaking this news is. Mr Ricciardo here was at the scene as well, he tried to save her, but she died on impact. There's nothing anybody could have done." The tall one says.
I look at Daniel who is silently crying, this must have been so traumatizing for him.
When I look down at our hands, our fingers intertwined, I see the dried up blood, Bri's blood.

He follows my gaze and I hear him gag. He gets up and runs to the bathroom where he throws up.
I want to follow him to console him, but I also feel I have to be here for Lewis.
"Where is my wife?" Lewis asks, his voice cracks.
"She's been taken to the hospital morgue, you will be able to go there to see her."
The morgue, my best friend is alone in a cold morgue.
A morgue is for dead people, Bri is dead.

Suddenly it hits me, she is dead, my best friend is dead. Even though I feel like she could walk through the door at any moment, her arms full with the groceries, ready to get the girls out of bed.
Oh my god those two baby girls, they are only 2 months old and now they will have to grow up without their mom.
The grief washes over me, my heart feels like it's been ripped out of my chest and I suddenly can't breathe.