Luminous Fire

29. Determined

This is where it happens. I'm sorry! :(

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I swore I wouldn't ever stay in an abusive or uncaring relationship. Nothing is getting fixed. I need to look after the twins. I see the way they tread cautiously when Xavier is home. It's not healthy for them to have to do that. I have to place an ultimatum to this relationship.

"You love Kyle! That's why you want the separation, so you can run to him." Xavier yells.

"I want the separation because what we have is not working anymore. It hasn't been working for a while. You just accused me of cheating again. I have never cheated. I've loved you all of these years. I want you to decide if you want us anymore. If you don't, then we'll get a divorce."

"Then, you are going to run to Kyle!"

"I want us to be cordial to each other. The twins needs both of their dads." I say. "Didn't you hear what I just said?"

"They are not even mine."

How can he say that? "They are our children and they should have both of their dads." I respond angrily.

"No, I'm never giving you a divorce."

Taking a breath, I say, "Please Xavier, we need the separation for the twins."

"No, I'm never signing it."

Why isn't he listening to what I'm saying? "I'm not asking for a divorce. I want us to take some time off from each other to really see if we still want to try to work through whatever has being going."

"I will never give you a divorce."

"If you don't, then I'm going to have to take you to court." I say giving up on the separation. He's not listening.

"You will not!" Xavier yells again.

"Think about it." I say before retreating to the twins' rooms. I hope they didn't hear, I can only hope.

I'm afraid of what he might do if I stayed there any longer. His expression left me feeling cold. He needs to cool down. I stay with the twins and reassure them that everything will be all right. They have heard enough. I read them their bedtime story hoping they will fall asleep soon. When they do, I get up and carefully, close the door just in case. I head towards the bedroom. I don't hear Xavier. Maybe he fell asleep. That would be best.

I walk into the bedroom and go into the bathroom to change into my pajamas when I hear the bedroom door close. My heart starts beating. I walk out to find Xavier standing by the foot of the bedroom with a blank expression.

"You will never be anyone else's."

"Our marriage isn't working. We are no longer getting along. It is not healthy for either of us." I reply in a low tone.

I haven't moved from the restroom. I don't want to provoke him. I can't imagine what he is about to do.

He grabs my wrist in a tight hold; it feels like he is crushing it. "Do you hear me? You will be no one else's."

I nod biting my lip to prevent the whimper from escaping my lips.

"Say it!"

I swallow before I say, "I will be no one else's."

His grip on me only tightens.

"You're hurting me." I say unable to mask the hurt.

"You hurt me." He says.

"I haven't.. I've only tried to keep our family together." I reply.

It is the wrong thing to say because he strikes me across my face. I let out a cry of pain.