Luminous Fire

32. Crossroads

Some Weeks Later (July)

"You should consider moving; a fresh new start." Ryan says.

I have thought of that, but here is where I've grown up. Here is where the twins have made their friends. All our memories are here. "I have thought of that."

"Really think about it. The twins will adjust easily enough. What places have you considered?"

"I haven't really. I've just thought of the idea."

"Consider California. Kyle will help you."

"I don't want him involved."

"You won't be alone while you're trying to adjust. He's already involved. He is your best friend. He will help you."

"I know. I just..."

"You aren't a burden to anyone, Cristian. Don't think that way. We could have never foreseen what happened." Ryan says hugging me.

"I know."

"Think about it. You and the twins can stay here as long as you want. We fit just fine."

"I have to think of what to do soon."

"You have time. You have to wait until the twins get out of camp. It's a good distraction for them."

"I know."

"Do you want me to pick them up?"

"You don't mind?"

"No and it gives you time to get yourself together. Katelyn will make dinner tonight."

"Thanks."

"No problem. I'll bring them home safe and sound."

I smile, "I wonder what they are bringing in today."

"Yes and did you already take Rocky for his walk?"

"Yes this morning before anyone was awake."

Ryan nods, "You need to try to sleep."

"I know. I will eventually."

"You should consider counseling."

"I'm fine."

"You just said that you haven't been sleeping well."

"It might help to talk to a stranger or there's group counseling."

"No."

"Don't discard it...you always tense up when people touch you, you pretend to be happy I can see, I know that it will take time to get past it, but I want you happy. I don't want it holding you back from anything."

"I—"

"Don't say anything. I'll be back. Do you need anything?"

"No, thanks." I thought no one noticed. His diagnosis was initially wrong. The tumor has spread at incredibly with no explanation and this place holds bad memories. Everything reminds me of him, but there are also good memories. I don't want to see him. He requested we visit him, to let the twins visit him. I don't want them visiting him in jail.

***

"So when are you telling the twins about the move?"

"Soon."

"And Kyle, you haven't told him details?"

"No, he knows what our other friends know."

"Do you think you will tell him?"

"I don't know. I don't like thinking about it."

"I know and I can only understand how you feel to an extend, but it might be good to talk about it. Consider going to group counseling. It might be beneficial."